100 Ways to a Reader's Heart
by Ttitansgo
Summary: 100 stories that range from outright parody to some fluff and everything in between. it will make you laugh, cry, and hopefully wet yourself. There's all kinds of pairings to choose from! Be you a BBxRae fan, a StarxRob fan, or even a Silkie-RedX fan. From the daily lives of the Titans to the craziest villain, It's all here! Enjoy and R&R. Thanks!
1. Store

I have read many of these '100 stories' fics and I really like stories I write will mostly be BBXRae, though there will be some RobXStar and maybe some CY/? if I can toss it in there. There may even be some *gasp* BBXStar! Though I am a BBxRae fan for life, I think it's a cute, woefully underappreciated couple.

Let me know if there are any errors in the story, grammar or otherwise. If you want to give pointers, I'm open to that as well. And if you have any ideas for a story or you want to see anything that I havent written, let me know, cause I'm a sucker for reviews.

This chapter is a middle ground between the silly and the absolute parody.

without further delay...

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Grocery Store<strong>

Alright Titans, it's official," Robin solemnly stated. "We're out of food." Upon hearing the news, the other titans eyes went wide and they let out a collective gasp. Well, except for Raven of course, she had her face buried in some old, moldy book. Her nose was pressed against the pages and she couldn't really read the words, but the book smelled nice.

"What? It can't be true!" Protested Beast Boy. He ran over to the fridge and tore it open. Sure enough, it was almost completely empty.

"I don't know what you're all so surprised about," Robin said. "We've been eating nothing but potato chips, red bull, and moldy fridge-food for the past couple weeks. I'm honestly amazed none of you have said anything yet. "

"Well, I just thought you were all trying out my diet for a change," Beast Boy said, a slight pouting look on his face.

"I don't eat food, I survive on tea and meditation." Raven said. Everyone knew she was lying for attention though.

"I thought we got food delivered like every week. What happened to that?" Asked Beast Boy.

"Apparently Slade busted some super villains out of jail and they destroyed half the city; the guy who brings our food got eaten by a giant crab or something." Robin said, waving his hand dismissively. Beast Boy went to look out their giant window and indeed the city was in a state of ruin. The sky was dark from smoke and countless buildings were on fire. Slade could be seen riding a giant crab and laughing maniacally as he fired lasers into frantically running people.

"Oh. Shouldn't we do something about that?" Beast Boy asked with concern, his face pressed against the glass.

"Nah, it'll be fine, that's what the police are for." He said, dismissively waving his hand again. "We only handle the big stuff, otherwise they'll depend on us too much."

"I don't know, it looks pretty bad. The police probably need our help." Beast Boy replied. Shrill screams could be heard as Slade lit an orphanage on fire.

"Everything's fine. They'll be fine." Robin said, waving his hands with more force.

"Are you sure? We could try and..."

"Yeahyeahyeah! It's fine! They'll be fine, It'sfineIt'sfineIt'sfine! Robin said deliriously as he flapped his hands around.

"But-"

"Yo BB, lighten up. We've got more pressing problems right now." Cyborg said, gesturing toward the barren fridge.

"You're right!" Beast Boy said, tearing his eyes from the destruction. "It's almost dinner and we're out of food! We should get to the store before they close."

"Booya!" Cyborg Booyaed and they all headed down to the T-car.

* * *

><p>"Can you believe the traffic here? Ridiculous!" Beast Boy complained as they entered the store.<p>

"I know right! Those people were just lying in the streets, like they don't have jobs to go to or something. I bet they were all on welfare. I tell ya, that's why our economy's in such a sorry shape." Cyborg said, shaking his head. "And did you see the buildings? They were either falling apart or on fire! I mean, what am I even paying taxes for?" All the other Titans nodded their heads in agreement. There was a moment of silence which was broken by a loud grumbling coming from Robin's stomach.

"Alright, we should get some food fast, I'm getting hungry," Robin said, patting his tummy. "We can cover more ground if we split up. Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Raven will take isles 1-6. Me and Starfire will take 7-12, everyone got it?" They nodded. "Good. TITANS GO!" Robin shouted right near Beast Boy's ear.

"AHHH!" Beast Boy squealed manishly. "What is wrong with you? We're in the store, not about to fight some monster! Do you really have to shout that in my ear? We're all standing right here, we can hear you just fine!" Beast Boy said angrily as he rubbed his ear.

Robin ignored him and turned to Starfire, "Comon Star, I think I saw some cookbooks over here that might help you make something edible." He said as he walked over to a random isle.

"Wonderful!" Starfire said with delight and started to follow Robin. "I have always wanted to mix earth food and Tamaranian food!"

"That's not really what I was going for Star..." Robins voice faded as he turned the corner, leaving the other three titans by themselves.

"Lets go in this isle first!" Beast Boy said, then ran off to it before the others could reply. They shrugged and grabbed a cart before following after him.

"Oh, we should get this!" Beast Boy exclaimed as he threw two cereal boxes into the cart. "This looks good too! Ooo, and I've never had this one before." He tossed another four in before he just shrugged and started indiscriminately dumping all of the different cereals into the cart.

"You can't be serious." Raven said. "You're going to kill yourself, Beast Boy. Don't you eat anything healthy?"

"Hey! These are good for you! See, this one has 20% of my daily vitamin C per serving!" Beast Boy protested, shoving the box in Raven's face.

"Ya, and 40 grams of sugar too. Cyborg, talk some sense into him." Raven turned toward Cyborg.

"Oooo, new steak flavored waffle mix? You betcha!" Cyborg said and tossed several boxes into the cart.

"I'm surrounded by idiots," Raven said.

* * *

><p>"Dear god." Robin whispered, eyes widening "No." He dropped to his knees and silently wept as Starfire came up behind him, awe written on her face.<p>

"Oh Robin," Starfire said, her eyes sparkling. "Never before have I laid my eyes on such splendor!" She looked up and down the isle, which was filled completely with mustard of all kinds. She looked down at the weeping Robin. "I know how you are feeling, it is truly overwhelming!" She said as she wiped a tear from her face.

Robin turned his tear streaked face up to the heavens and shouted "What kind of store has an isle just for mustard?" Quickly regaining his composure, he stood up and turned to Starfire. "You can pick four different ones, we don't have space for any more than that." He said firmly. She nodded her head and he let out a sigh of relief _"That wasn't that bad."_ He thought to himself.

* * *

><p>"You monster!" Beast Boy screamed.<p>

"What?" Cyborg asked innocently as he pointed to a part on a partially butchered cow. The butcher nodded and began skinning the cow and cutting off the meat for Cyborg. Beast Boy let out a short shriek and covered his mouth, suddenly looking greener than normal. He blindly reached out and grabbed Raven's hood. Before she could ask him what he thought he was doing, he stuck his face in it and threw up. Raven froze, unable to move as he continued to throw up for a good thirty seconds. When he finally stopped, he lifted his head up to see the butcher pulling what looked like intestines from the cow. He lifted her hood up once more and threw up the last of his lunch before fainting and hitting his head against the floor. Raven just stood in shock unable to believe what had just happened to her.

Cyborg stared at her, not moving a muscle out of fear that her anger would be directed at him. The butcher slowly lowered himself until he could no longer be seen behind the counter. Raven remained frozen until a small trickle started to seep through her hood and make its way onto her neck.

* * *

><p>"No! Starfire, I said only four!" Robin shouted as he tossed out bottles of mustard only half as fast as Starfire was putting them into the cart.<p>

"But Robin, there are just too many to only choose four!" She said picking up a bottle of mustard and examining it. "Pickled mustard? Oh I simply must try it!" She tossed the bottle behind her into the cart and picked up another.

"Starfire, we really can't-" Robin began.

"Just a couple dozen more Robin! I promise." She said as she added a large pile and dragged the cart further down the isle.

"Starfire, STOP!" He dug his feet into the ground and attempted to slow down the cart, to no avail. "You already have 96 bottles, you cant have any more mustard, I wont let you!"

She slowly turned to face him, "You won't let me?" Her voice sent chills through his spine. "I am a warrior princess of Tamaran, you would dare try to stop me?"

Robin took a gulp and replied shakily, "I-I would."

"Then you will be shown no mercy!" She said as her eyes started to burn with emerald fire.

He cowered down and suddenly, a huge explosion rocked the store. Robin wasted no time in shamelessly using this distraction to redirect Starfire's attention. "Oh good, trouble! I mean- Oh no, trouble! Hurry Star, we can't waste any time!" Before she could respond, he ran off in the direction of the explosion leaving behind what looked suspiciously like a trail of urine. She glared in his direction, gave a "hmph!" and grabbed the cart. She picked it up and flew toward the sound of trouble, mustard bottles falling on the unsuspecting shoppers below.

Robin skidded around an isle and saw Raven standing there, visible waves of heat rising from her skin. He looked down and saw a pale, unmoving Beast Boy on the floor next to Raven's cloak, which was covered in a chunky substance. "NO! She's finally done it, she's killed him!" He said, running over to Beast Boy's form. "I knew this day would come! I warned the others and they didn't listen to me! "

"You idiot, he's not de-" Raven started.

"They all said: 'It's just sexual tension, they secretly love each other!'" At that, Raven sent a glare at Cyborg, who just shrugged his shoulders and smiled sheepishly. "But I knew! If only they had listened!"

"Robin-" Raven began as she placed a hand on Robin's shoulder.

"Spare me the excuses vile demon!" Robin shouted. He tackled her to the ground and pinned her arms above her head. "I'll make you pay for what you did to Beast Boy!"

"Ughhh...What's all the yelling about?" Beast Boy asked as he slowly sat up and rubbed his head. Robin turned and looked at Beast Boy, then back at Raven, then Beast Boy, then Raven. His brilliant detective mind was whirring as he did hundreds of calculations and created countless scenarios of all possible events. A full 30 seconds passed before an audible 'ding' could be heard coming from the boy wonder.

"Oops, my bad." He said and got off Raven. "Well, that was a completely reasonable mistake and I know none of you will hold it against me." He quickly said as Starfire landed with her cart full of mustard. "So, thanks for forgiving me so easily Raven, you are truly not a vile demon." He added, nodding his head with sincerity. He ducked as a lethal wave of energy shot through where his head was only moments before. "Woah!" He exclaimed with surprise and stood back up. "Seems like someone's hungry! Let's check out before she tries to blow up the rest of the store and the manager sends us a bill for this mess. TITANS GO!" He shouted unnecessary and ran off to the registers.

"Again with that?" Beast Boy complained. He got up and looked to Starfire's towering cart of mustard. "Wow Star, do you really need all that mustard? Maybe you should put a few back." He said as he picked up a bottle.

In the blink of an eye, she was holding a glowing fist in front of his face. His eyes went wide and his ears drooped as she whispered in a deathly tone "I would advise you to not be touching the mustard. Understand?" He nodded vigorously and dropped the bottle back in the cart like it was burning his hand. She lowered her fist and immediately cheered up. "Glorious! I shall save you a spot at the registrar!" She walked after Robin, leaving a frightened Beast Boy in her wake.

"Alright, you heard the lady! Let's check out so we can get home and have some of this delicious meat!" Cyborg said as he hugged a package of meat to his face. Beast Boy looked over to Cyborg and was about to reply, when his face started to turn greener again. He put a hand over his mouth and ran after Starfire, unable to bear the sight for another second.

"Yo Raven, you want your cloak back?" Cyborg asked as he nudged at it with his toe. She looked at it and her face started to turn green too.

"Lets just get out of here." She said and turned to follow Beast Boy to the exit.

* * *

><p>They all piled into the car and started to head back to the tower. Cyborg, who had been unable to wait, was shoving raw beef into his mouth while driving. He would frequently swerve and hit various objects on the sidewalk. Starfire was sitting in the backseat squirting mustard down her throat and tossing the empty bottles out the window at passing ally cats. Raven was angrily picking dried vomit from her neck and uttering curses under her breath. Beast Boy was sitting in between Starfire and Raven with his knees drawn up under his chin. He was rocking back and forth and weeping as he watched Cyborg shovel the raw meat into his mouth. Robin looked over at his teammates and came to a conclusion.<p>

"Well, I would say that was a pretty good trip overall. Wouldn't you agree Raven?" Robin asked, looking at her in the rear view mirror. In response, she just grabbed his seat belt and pulled back hard on it, chocking him.

* * *

><p>Wow, long time since I've posted anything on this site. The main reason I have started writing again was because the Titans are coming back! Not full episodes, but they are coming back in the form of animation shorts. they come back march 3rd. If you haven't heard this news yet, here's the link (there are five spaces and parenthesesin it to allow me to post it. I know, i'm a rule-breaker, so sue me):<p>

www. /2012/02/teen-titans-return-march-3rd . html

some of you may recognize me, though many of you probably don't. a few years ago, I managed to gather 2,000 people to call cartoon network in support of the show as well as gather 10,000 signatures from around the internet. You may have even been one of those people. Well, that resulted in the show airing re-runs. Exactly 1 year ago last Friday, I contacted Stuart Snyder, the head of animation, and he told me he had "shared [the] petition with others that were involved with Teen Titans." nine months later, the above shorts were announced, and the creators as well as voice actors on the show publicly urged people to show the support for the show via social sites such as twitter. It shows that Cartoon Network is willing to listen to it's viewers and that with enough support, anything is possible. It has been many years, but I believe it is still entirely plausible to get another season. So, I urge you to sign the new petition. Share it on facebook and post it in the authors' notes in your stories if you can! Make sure every fan who can sign it, will.

www. /petitions/get-a-6th-season-for-teen-titans . html

I look forward to watching new episodes of teen titans :)

Also, let me know what you think, **please Review!**


	2. Robin Cracks

Update, woo! It's a parody of sorts, let me know what you think. If you have any ideas for stories, I would be glad to hear them! Anyone wanna be a beta reader?

**Teen Titans shorts air tomorrow!** Some time between 10am and 11am during Green Lantern or Young Justice. Be sure to look for them! More info in authors note below.

* * *

><p>Chapter 2: Robin Cracks<p>

"This has Slade written all over it," Robin said, studying at the crime scene.

"Yo Rob, I think you got this one wrong. I mean, what would Slade want with-"

"Listen, I'm the leader and I say this was Slade! He's probably planning an assault with the stolen goods as we speak!" Robin said, slamming his fist into his palm.

"Uhh, Robin? Why would Slade want to steal a bunch of Halloween costumes?" Beast Boy asked. They currently were standing in front of a costume store which had just recently been broken into. "It was probably just some teenagers or somethin'"

"No," Robin said firmly. "This was Slade, I can feel it."

"Well, um... OK, but only some fairy princess and ballerina outfits were stolen. This seems more like a job for the police, we shouldn't even be here. Are you sure your hunch was right?"

"Ya, I'm positive. I can only imagine what cunning, dastardly plan he has come up with this time." Robin said with a shudder.

Suddenly a little girls' scream tore through the air. Robin turned his head in time to see her ice cream cone fall from her hand and hit the ground. He narrowed his eyes, "Slade..." he said, voice dripping with contempt.

"Rob, you feeling OK?" Cyborg's question was ignored as Robin sprinted to the little girl, grabbed her by the collar, and started shouting in her face.

"WHERE DID HE GO? WHERE IS SLADE?" He screamed. The little girl burst into tears.

"What is wrong with you? Get away from my daughter!" The girl's mother yelled at him.

Robin turned to her, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Impending an ongoing investigation, you know who does something like that? Someone who works for Slade!"

"You think that I'm working for Slade? You're off your rocker!"

"Your right, he's too clever to send someone like _you _to do his dirty work," Robin said as he turned around and started walking away. The mother breathed a sigh of relief, happy the deranged teen was leaving her alone. At the sound, Robin whirled around faster that the human eye could follow. "Ha! You thought you had fooled me, that's a very clever disguise...Slade!" He pounced on the poor mother and began tugging at her face. "Once I get this mask off, we'll see who can fool whom!" Cyborg ran over and tackled Robin to the ground.

"Man, you need to calm down. Nobody here is Slade!"

"SLADE? WHERE? He's so close I can taste him!" Robin began twitching violently and foaming at the mouth. "Slade!" he managed to gurgle out as Cyborg injected him with a strange clear liquid. "Slade...Slade...Slade..." he mumbled as he quickly fell into a medically induced sleep.

"Does this happen often?" A bystander asked Raven, who had been watching the whole ordeal impassively.

"More often than we're proud of," she replied dryly.

* * *

><p>Hey everyone! Some news on the effort to bring the Teen Titans back, here's what the voice actors are saying via twitter:<p>

(tarastrong) "We're doing some Titans shorts, but I bet if y'all tell cartoonnetwork how much you want new full episodes..."

(GregCipes) "Get a 6th season for Teen Titans. Sign the Petition"

Even the voice actors are excited at the prospect of a new season, so sign and tell everyone you know! Lets get this awesome show back on the air! Unless you're content to just read fanfiction for the rest of your life... don't be lame people, sign it! (ooh, peer pressure. Now you have no choice)

www. /petitions/get-a-6th-season-for-teen-titans . html

(there' some spaces and parentheses in there.)

As always, **R&R please.**


	3. Misunderstanding

I know, I usually post before the new Teen Titans shorts come out. I forgot. They came out on Saturday.

Beast Boy and Robin are always written as being so mean to each other, but really they're good friends. I started writing this one and it sort of got away from me. Let me know what you think of it, please R&R

Also, anyone wanna be a Beta Reader? All the fun of getting to read the stories early with the added benefit of correcting my mistakes and making suggestions! Woot! Or if you want I suppose you could just give me suggestions in the form of angry, hateful flames. Whatever works.

* * *

><p>Chapter 3- Misunderstandings<p>

"So, what do you think of this one?" Robin asked, holding up an expensive looking pair of emerald earrings. "Do you think she would like them?" He sounded nervous.

"Dude, what're you so worried about? It's Starfire, she would love anything you got her!" Beast Boy replied with a little frustration. He and Robin had spent the better part of the afternoon searching through countless stores and even more pieces of jewelry looking for something Robin could get as a present for Starfire's upcoming birthday. Beast Boy was certain that Robin wanted to look at every piece of Jewelry in the city before he would even consider making a decision.

"I just want to make sure I get her something perfect." He said with a dreamy look in his eyes. "So, this one or not?"

"Fine, yes, that one is 'perfect,'" he said with a dismissive wave and a yawn.

"Hmmm, I think I want to see just a few more before I can decide." Robin said, and went off to go find the salesman.

"Ughhhhh!" Beast Boy groaned as he went to follow the hopeless boy wonder.

* * *

><p>Two hours later<p>

"This is it! This is the one!" Robin said with awe as he Stared at a necklace displayed behind glass in a store window. He ran in and approached the nearest salesperson. By the time Beast Boy had made it inside, Robin already had the necklace in his hands.

"That is a one of a kind necklace, created by our professional artisans; it was designed to catch everyone's eye and no expense was spared. You're looking for something for Starfire, yes?" The saleswoman asked in a sickeningly sweet voice and Robin nodded his head, entranced by the necklace and the saleswoman's words. "Well, this would be an excellent match for Starfire! It would perfectly accent her features and really make her eyes pop. She would absolutely love it, don't you think?" The disturbingly cheerful saleswoman asked while Robin bobbed his head up and down in agreement.

Beast Boy slowly approached the two. "What do you think of this one Beast Boy?" Robin asked, shoving the necklace in the changeling's face.

Beast Boy took a step back so his his eyes could focus on the object in front of him. It was large gold pendant with a giant emerald surrounded by dozens of diamonds. He told Robin, "I don't know, it seems like a little much., you've only been dating for like 2 months." At his words, the saleswoman's smile turned into a frown and she glared at him from behind Robin's back.

"Well, I think it's perfect!" Robin ignored his comments and turned to the saleswoman, "I'll take it!" Her face brightened impossibly fast and she took the necklace and placed it in it's respective box before taking it to the register.

"Why am I even here?" Beast Boy cried out in exasperation.

"To get your opinion of course, it just happens to be wrong on this one" Robin said simply and followed the lady to the checkout register. Beast Boy gave a huff and trailed behind him, happy that, at the very least, this waste of a day would end and he could go back to playing his Gamestation.

"That will be 34,365 dollars, minus a complementary 10% discount for being my favorite Titan," she gave him a wink, "which brings the total to 30,928 dollars and 50 cents." She said with a grin that put Cheshire to shame, no doubt due to the huge commission she was about to get.

Beast Boy stood, mouth agape and looked over to Robin, who thanked her, nodded, and pulled out his mentors unlimited credit card. "Wha-WHAT?" Beast Boy practically shouted. "You're not going to pay that much for that are you? This lady is taking advantage of you!" He gestured to the saleswoman, who once again shot him a glare, which he returned tenfold.

"What are you talking about? She gave me a discount. I think you're just jealous because she said that I was her favorite Titan." Robin said with a smirk. He handed his credit card to the lady behind the counter, who's smile had returned like magic.

"Oh come on!" Beast Boy said as he facepalmed. "I'm trying to help you out! you don't think I would actually try and stop you from getting Star a present because I was jealous of something stupid like that, do you?

Robin's face became contemplative as he pondered the younger Titan's words. Maybe Beast Boy had a point. He wouldn't do something like that, would he?

* * *

><p>The two walked out of the shop, Robin smiling happily with a bag in his hands and Beast Boy trailing behind, grumbling obscenities under his breath.<p>

"Ya, totally jealous," Robin confirmed to himself, looking over at the foul mouthed boy.

"Dude, this is so unfair!" Beast Boy said as he crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. "You'll buy Starfire a 30,000 dollar necklace, no questions asked, but you won't buy me a moped when I really need it? What the heck?"

"That's because Starfire is my girlfriend." Robin said

"Ya, but I'm your friend!" Beast Boy protested. "Doesn't that mean anything? I'm just as important to you!"

"Of course Beast Boy, but Star is my girlfriend, she offers more than any friend could" Robin said with a smile.

"Like what?" Beast Boy shot back.

Caught off guard, Robin stammered out, "W-well, you know. Like love, and companionship, and you know..."

"What?" Beast Boy asked, curious now.

"She gives me things that normal friends don't give each other, things that only people who are dating give each other." Robin tried to explain without directly saying what he meant, hoping his younger friend would get the hint.

He didn't. "Well I could give you it too! Just tell me what I have to do to get my moped!" Beast Boy practically begged.

"Beast Boy, you couldn't do it, and you're not getting a moped" Robin said with finality as he shuddered at the thought of what the changeling was unknowingly implying.

"I can do it! Just give me a chance and let me try!

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" Robin said matter-of-factly.

"Aw, come on! I can do whatever it is! Just tell me what I need to give you to get a moped!" he was on his knees now, "I could give you whatever you want! I can give you more than Starfire ever could!" Beast Boy shouted in desperation, which drew Stares from the nearby civilians.

Robin gave a frustrated sight, he obviously couldn't sugar-coat it for the green Titan any longer. "Beast Boy, the day you can give me sex like Starfire does is the day I'll buy you a moped." He said sternly, thinking he was implying that Beast Boy would not get his moped. He paused for a second as he realized what he said. "Wait...that didn't come out right..." It had sounded much better in his head.

By now, a sizable crowd had gathered and they were talking in hushed tones to each other.

Beast Boy's eyes widened in shock as his brain made sense of their conversation. "Oh." Was all he said as his cheeks began to heat up. There was a moment of awkward silence, then Beast Boy's face scrunched up in thought. It stayed like that for a few seconds while he went over what Robin had just said in his mind.

"...So, you'll buy me a moped if I-" He began.

"BEAST BOY! Not going to happen. You weren't seriously considering that, were you?" Robin asked, his voice a mixture of horror and disgust.

"What? No! Of course not!" Robin gave him a skeptical look. "Heh-heh..." he laughed sheepishly, refusing to make eye contact and rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

Robin's attention was diverted from Beast Boy by the sounds of frantic whispering coming from all around him. He looked up and found that they were surrounded by at least 80 people, who were watching the scene play out. His face paled and he grabbed Beast Boy's arm and pulled him roughly through the crowd. He hoped no one had heard too much of that.

"Whaa!" Beast Boy shouted in surprise as he was dragged into the relative safety of a nearby alleyway. Robin released him and poked his head around the corner of the alley. "Jeez, what was that for? You know I bruise easily!" Beast Boy whined, rubbing his arm soothingly. "You know you could just ask me to follow, no need to grab me so hard. I think you need some anger management, cause' you can get..." Robin ignored Beast Boy's continued complaining and scanned the street. seeing they had successfully escaped the crowd, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Beast Boy, I'll make you a deal," Robin said, turning back to face him. "I will buy you a moped if you-"

"DEAL!" He yelled immediately, as if he feared the offer might expire before Robin finished his sentence. His smile growing so big, Robin thought it might crack his face in half. "I'm going to get the Tidwell 3000 and she's going to be mine and I'll love her for ever and ever!" He began bouncing up and down in excitement and started to babble incoherently.

"But," Robin said loudly over Beast Boy's babbling. "you have to promise me that you will never speak of today to anyone. Ever."

"Deal, Deal, Deal!" Beast Boy looked like he was about to pass out from excitement.

Robin breathed a sigh of relief; a moped was a small price to pay to avoid the months of humiliation the other titans would give him if they found out about the little scene they had caused back there.

* * *

><p>About an two and a half hours later, they pulled into the Titans garage on Beast Boy's new moped. He had not shut up since the had stepped out of the store with it and had insisted they drive it home instead of calling Cyborg for a ride. So what should have been a 10 minute ride turned into well over an hour considering the moped's top speed was 30 mph with <strong>one<strong> person. On the way there, Robin had made sure to tell Beast Boy what to say when the other titans asked how he had gotten his moped. There had been a contest at the mall, and Beast Boy's name had been called. Simple enough that it wouldn't arouse suspicion and Beast Boy was excited enough that no one would question it.

"And she'll be called the B-Ped and I'll polish her every day and together we'll defeat tons of villains!" Beast Boy chattered on as they headed towards the common room.

They were almost at the sliding doors, when they opened to reveal Starfire crying into her hands. She looked up and upon seeing Beast Boy and Robin, she let out a sob and whimpered out "Oh, Robin, how could you?" Robin stood there, stunned by Starfire's crying and attempting to think of what he did wrong.

"Star, are you OK?" Beast Boy asked with concern.

She shot him a venomous glare and said "I do not wish to speak to you, you are a clorbag and would appreciate it if you would not talk to me." Beast Boy looked at her in shock.

Robin stepped up, "Starfire, are you alright?" he said, worry layering his voice. "do you want to talk about anything? You know I'm always here for you."

"No, I am sorry for my outburst, I merely require the alone time so that I may process this new information. I know you cannot help how you feel, truly I am happy for you" she said with a sad smile and left for her room after another glare at Beast Boy.

Used to small misunderstandings being misinterpreted by his girlfriend, Robin decided the Cyborg and Raven could explain what had happened, so that he would be able to explain to Starfire. He and Beast Boy stepped into the common room and saw the two aforementioned titans sitting on the couch; Cyborg was laughing so hard he was holding his sides and almost falling off the couch. Raven was sitting there with a small smirk on her face. This couldn't be good. Without saying a word, Raven pointed up at the T.V.. Robin looked at it and immediately his heart sank.

"It seems a new relationship has budded in Titans Tower." A heavily make-uped reporter said into a microphone, "witnesses report the the Titan leader, Robin, and the youngest member, Beast Boy, were seen earlier today shopping for jewelry before Beast Boy dropped on his knees and professed his undying love for Robin, stating he could give Robin more than Starfire ever could. After a lewd comment about sex was made by Robin, the pair was seen running into the nearest alleyway. What they did in there can be left to the imagination."

At the last comment, Robin and Beast Boy visibly cringed. "Aw, shit"

* * *

><p>As always, be sure to sign the Teen Titans Petition! (link in previous authors notes)<p>

(tarastrong) "We're doing some Titans shorts, but I bet if y'all tell cartoonnetwork how much you want new full episodes..."

(GregCipes) "Get a 6th season for Teen Titans. Sign the Petition"

(their twitter accounts)

Oh, and if you've got an idea for a story, let me know and I'll write it up for you!

**Hey you! Ya, you reading this right now. I see you there. Review my story or I will make an empty threat at you. Don't make me do it. I will do it, I'm crazy.**


	4. Beast Boob

Very silly and very short. I'll make up for it with the next one :)

Don't forget, Teen Titans shorts this Saturday during Green lantern/ Young Justice. Be sure to watch and if you are so inclined, to post all over the Cartoon Network 'Fan Talk' page for the DC shorts and tell them how much you love Teen Titans.

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><p>Beast Boy, eyes wide and sparkling with curiosity, stared innocently at the object before him. He raised his hand and started to move it towards the object before stopping and pulling back slightly, momentary doubt crossing his mind. He paused a moment and thought, tongue out in concentration. A new resolve found, he continued to reach forward until his hand rested on the object. He gave it a squeeze, as if testing its existence. Finding it was indeed real, and quite firm, he gave it another squeeze. A childish grin spread across his face and he looked up with delight...straight into four glowing read eyes.<p>

"Beast Boy," a guttural voice said. "you have three seconds to get your hand off of my boob, then I'm going to teach you a now meaning for the word pain." Panic spread across his face and he froze, paralyzed with fear.

"One." His mind was working at a mile a second. What should he do? Maybe he could talk his way out? No, that never worked. There was no way he could get out of this situation.

"Two." He was going to die. He should run.

"Three." Screw it

*Squeeze*

"BEAST BOY!" Raven screamed, magic erupting around her. Beast boy was blown back into the wall, making a large dent. Before he could hit the floor, she enveloped his body in dark energy and pushed him slowly into the wall. The dent in the wall grew larger and he cried out in agony as as he felt a rib crack. She kept pushing and just as he felt his body could take no more, she released the pressure. He was grateful until she flung him into the ceiling with all of her might. He fell to the ground with a thud and one thought managed to cross his mind before he was mercifully swallowed by unconsciousness.

'Worth it'

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><p>as always, sign the Teen Titans petition that I have a link to in earlier authors notes. Or you can search 'Get a 6th season for Teen Titans' and it will be the first result<p>

Oh, and **please review!**


	5. Komand'r

Haha, this was fun. Modified scene from the show, always entertaining to change the small details. Let me know if you have a request, otherwise I might just run out of ideas.

Sorry that my authors notes are always so long. And me typing that isn't helping them get any shorter. Oh crap, now it's even longer. Damn, I just did it again. Oh, shit! There's no way out of this, It's madness!

**Chapter 4: Komand'r**

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><p>"I'm exhausted!" Beast Boy complained. They had just fought off a probe that was following Starfire and it had taken more effort than it should have to destroy the strangely damage resistant probe.<p>

"Ya man, I hear you," Cyborg said, "I can't wait to get home and play a few rounds of Mega Monkeys 4!" The T-Car soon pulled into the garage and all of the Titans got out and headed up towards the common room.

"That probe almost hurt Starfire, we need to find out who sent it and stop them." Robin said with determination.

"I will be OK Robin, we must first rest before we can seek out combat." she said placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He visibly relaxed.

"Alright Star," Robin said, stepping through the open doors into the common room, "I guess you're right, we should get some-" he stopped mid-sentence and stared at the person standing in their tower. It only took a fraction of a second for the shock to wear off before he got into a fighting stance and prepared himself. The rest of the team gave him a funny look, until they too saw the girl in the middle of the common room. The other Titans quickly followed and fell into stance. "Who are you?" Robin demanded.

"Aw man, how did she get into the tower? My security system sucks!" Cyborg followed up as he hung his head in shame.

The girl slowly stepped into the light. She was extremely attractive and was wearing armor similar to Starfire's As soon as she was fully visible, Starfire dropped her stance and gleefully shouted out "Komand'r!" she ran up to the person and embraced her in a tight bone-crushing hug. The girl seemed unfazed and laughed as she returned the hug. Starfire pulled away slowly and looked into the girl's eyes. Then she closed her own eyes and started to lean forward. The other girl leaned forward as well and their lips met. The male Titans stared, mouths hanging open in shock as Starfire continued to passionately kiss this person for a good ten seconds. Raven raised an eyebrow and her face showed mild surprise. Finally, they broke apart. Beast Boy was the first to speak.

"Whoa..." was all he managed to say as he openly stared at the two still embracing girls.

"She a friend of yours?" Raven asked, seeming to recover from the shock faster than the rest. Robin and Cyborg appeared to still be frozen.

"Oh yes!" Starfire said with joy. "She is my greatest friend and also my dear sister, Blackfire."

Raven raised the other eyebrow. "Well, far be it from me to judge what siblings do together," she said nonchalantly. Beast Boys' nose began to bleed.

Eventually, Robin managed to clump his thoughts together enough to create a coherent sentence. "Star...why did you just kiss your sister?"

"Yeah, Give us the details! Don't spare even one-" Beast Boy eagerly began before he was cut off by a hard slap to the back of his head that sent him face first into the floor.

Blackfire smirked at Beast Boy on the floor as she responded, "On our planet, you learn a new language through lip contact or as you call it, kissing."

"Yes, that is correct. Sister, let me introduce you to my friends!"

"No need, you told me all about them in your transmissions. Let me guess," she said as she walked up to Cyborg, "Cyborg."

Having just recovered from the shock, Cyborg put out his hand for her to shake "Pleased to meet you, little lady." the sound of crunching metal reached his ears; he lifted his hand and examined it. "Little lady, big handshake. Well, all right!"

she moved onto the next titan in line, "Raven. I like that gemstone on your ajna chakra."

"You know about chakras?" Raven asked, surprise evident in her voice.

"I got way into meditation on Altara Prime." she responded casually. She moved onto the next Titan, who had just picked himself up off the floor. "Beast Boy, What's up?"

"Nothing but the ceiling, baby." Beast Boy said, obviously trying to impress the new, hot girl.

"Haha, good one!" Blackfire said, tossing him a pity laugh. He was the only one who didn't seem to notice.

"See, she thinks I'm funny." Beast Boy said, wiggling his eyebrows at Raven.

"Statistically, I suppose someone has to." Raven replied dully. Somewhere the sound of a deflating balloon could be heard.

She then moved onto Robin. "And you must be Robin. Oh! I am loving this cape, it's positively luscious." she purred.

"Thanks." He said as Starfire began to glare daggers at her sister. Robin turned and addressed his team, "Alright Titans, we've had a rough evening. Relax and get some rest, we'll start looking for Starfire's attackers first thing tomorrow."

"Finally some rest!" Cyborg said as he plopped down onto the couch and grabbed the remote.

"Well, I know I've had a hard day," Beast Boy began as he started to stretch out his aching limbs, "I need to take a long, enjoyable shower while this memory's still fresh. I MEAN- so that _I'll_ be fresh...heh-heh" He covered, fooling no one. Everyone turned to stare at the boy. His cheeks turned red and his ears drooped at all the unwanted attention.

"Nice." Raven said as she side stepped away from him.

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><p>It make you wonder, she had to learn English from someone, didn't she?<p>

As I will always say, sign the Teen Titans Petition, linked in my earlier authors notes. Spread the word whenever you can. I have messaged Stuart Snyder (president of animation at Cartoon Network) and he will be watching the petition, so let's not let him down!

**What the- don't wait until the end to review! Do it now, you jerk! And every chapter after this one! It's the right thing to do.**


	6. Gary Stu

This one is about the stereotypical OCs in the fanfiction world. It was fun writing this, but hard. Let me know what you think of it.

BTW: OOC= out of character

OC= original character

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><p>The Titans were fighting against Plasmus, and he was single-handedly kicking their ass, as usual.<p>

"Oh, noes! We cannot ever hope to defeat him, even though he is only a minor nuisance in the show!" Cried out Robin who was currently crumpled on the floor.

"Yes, I agree! We suck far too much to handle this minor villian on our own!" said Starfire as she was swatted into a nearby wall.

"Won't someone help us?" Raven shrieked out, forgetting to stay in character in her desperation.

Suddenly, a mysterious and SEXY man stepped out of the shadows. Seven paragraphs were dedicated to describing just his arm hair alone, which was sexy. "Fear not Titans," he said, suave dripping from his voice and pooling onto the floor. Or maybe that was saliva. "I will save all you pathetic heroes!" He heroically called out before turning to glare at Plasmus, causing the villain to explode into a million tiny pieces.

"Golly gee! Who are you?" Robin said in awe, already falling in love with this newcomer.

"Gary...Gary Stu. I am the son of a devil deity from heaven who was on the same level as God, so I guess that makes me some kind of Jesus," he said shrugging his shoulders in a totally not conceited way. "No big deal though."

"Wow, you should join our team!" Robin said, tossing him a communicator without bothering to do a background check on this potentially dangerous man.

"Ya! You should join and come back to the tower and live with us!" Raven said excitedly. He gave her a contemplative look, which caused her to giggle, blush, and pull up her hood. She was apparently still stuck in her OOC phase from earlier.

"I shall accept your offer," he said in a voice so cool that it rivaled deep space.

And so, he became a teen Titan, no questions asked. He had about 10,000 different powers, each of which was powerful enough to demolish the whole universe. Lucky he's on our side, right? He destroyed all the boy's in their video games and he loved Starfire's cooking and he even kicked Raven's ass at poetry reading and meditating, somehow. He was so perfect that all of the Titans became best friends with him. They trusted him with their deepest darkest secrets and eventually they all fell in love with him, creating a complicated love...hexagon?

"Oh Gary Stu, you are so perfect, I can only show my emotions around you and you have even managed to melt my icy ice bitch heart!" Raven swooned., dramatically placing a hand over her eyes.

Beast Boy pushed her out of the way. "And you taught me how to release my inner Beast at just the right time!" he said with a wink.

"Yo dawg! You're hogging all of the Gary Stu time" Cyborg shouted as he glared at Beast Boy. Beast Boy gave Cyborg a keyboard, which caused Cyborg to sequel with delight and run into the corner to go make our with it.

He was very popular with the team. In fact, he was the envy of the whole world and everyone wanted him, including *le gasp* Slade!

"I shall have him as my apprentice!" Slade cackled evilly from within his evil lair.

For reasons that are unclear and create several plotholes, Gary Stu joined Slade's side, leaving the Titans to angst all over their tower.

"Oh no, my BEST FRIEND FOR LIFE for two months has gone to join Slade, it's all my fault" Raven sobbed, cutting her wrists and angsting on the walls.

"I'm going to go obsessively look for Slade on Google Earth and Facebook while training until I puke, because that's apparently what I do when I'm upset" Robin said and went off to go do those things.

One month later:

Finally, after managing to get the last bit of angst out of the carpet, the Titans decided they had to stop Gary, who had destroyed half of the city and killed millions while they were busy angsting.

"Titans, we have to stop Gary!" Robin redundantly declared. He then went to the computer and searched all over Twitter and Myspace until he eventually found Gary's page, which conveniently had his address on it.

After 4 chapters of searching, they eventually found Gary in a warehouse deep underground. And in a series of events remarkably close to the season 2 terra arc, Gary sacrificed himself and killed slade. The Titans grieved. They had not just lost a teammate, they had lost a brother, a lover, a friend, a colleague, an aquantiance, a co worker.

Because of their anguish at the loss of Gary, the members of the team began comforting each other and having hawt ANGUISH sex. After 17 unnecessary angst and graphic lemon-filled chapters, the Titans decided they had mourned enough.

"Titans, we have mourned enough!" Robin declared. They all nodded their heads in agreement and proceeded to do inappropriate things with each other on the couch. They soon forgot about ol' what's-his-face, which made it seem as though Gary was just an excuse to pair the Titans together.

But no! Suddenly, without explanation and in a bright, dazzling flash of light, Gary was reborn! None of the Titans knew though, because they had been blinded by the flash.

"AUUGHH! I CAN'T SEE!" Robin screeched out, blindly throwing around deadly weapons from his utility belt. He killed a few innocent bystanders, but no one seemed to notice.

And so the Titans had a party to celebrate Gary's return. In a dramatic scene not at all related to the plot and seemingly coming from nowhere, Gary discovered that his true love was Starfire. They met on the rooftop.

"Starfire, I love you more than sliced bread!" Gary blurted out while blushing and refusing to make eye contact. How cute!

"And I love you, **friend **Gary!" Starfire said, apparently forgetting 5 years of romance with Robin. They kissed. Somewhere in the tower, Robin sprained his ankle and died, unexpectedly. You know, so he wouldn't stand in the way of their LUV.

Gary became the new leader and everyone forgot about Robin, despite the fact that his body was still smelling up their hallway.

After many angry flames about the horrible OC, Gary unexpectedly fell into a coma from which he would never awaken. The remaining Titans shrugged and started making out.

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><p>So, what'd you think? Love it, hate it? Should I write more like this? <strong>Please review!<strong>

as always, sign the Teen Titans Petition that has been linked in my previous chapters.


	7. Beast Boy likes tea

I know, I know, I'm a full week late in updating. It wasn't my fault though, my computer crashed and I lost all my documents, I had to redo everything! OK, that was a lie, I only lost about an hours worth of work on one document and it only crashed yesterday afternoon. Moar leik I was busy with a bunch of cool life related things and also getting people to sign that teen titans petition.

**Chapter 7: Beast Boy likes tea**

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><p>His eyes laid upon his prey. He moved swiftly and quietly, sneaking up behind the unsuspecting girl on the couch. She 'didn't do fear,' she had said. Yeah right, even after that whole incident, she rarely admitted to being scared. But that would change soon enough, he was about to scare her so badly that she wouldn't be able to speak, much less deny that she was afraid. He crept closer, closer. He started to unscrew a jar containing a tarantula, when he suddenly froze, nose in the air. He sniffed at the air curiously and looked around for the source of the scent. His eyes soon landed on the cup of tea Raven was currently holding. His eyes followed the cup as Raven set it down on the table. He sniffed the air once more and let our a small giggle before dropping the jar and running over to the cup. Raven looked up from her book and saw Beast Boy holding her tea in his hands.<p>

"Beast Boy, what are you doing?" Raven asked, annoyance clear in her voice. He didn't respond, but instead began drinking deeply from her cup. "Did I say you could-" Raven began angrily, but stopped when Beast Boy burst into a fit of giggles and started rolling back and forth on the carpet.

"BB, you OK?" Cyborg asked with concern, pausing the T.V. and eying the changeling. His only response was another bout of giggles. Suddenly, Beast Boy stopped and he whipped his head up and turned his attention to the counter, on which rested a can with the rest of Raven's loose tea. He made a mad dash to the kitchen on all fours and tackled the poor, defenseless can. His speed being too great, he skidded across the counter and he and the can crashed to the floor, spilling tea everywhere.

"Hey! That cost 40 dollars..." The anger vanished from Raven's face as Beast Boy sniffed at the tea, then began rubbing his face on the floor where the tea had spilled.

"Yo Raven, what's in that tea of yours?"

At the sound of Cyborg's voice, Beast Boy's head shot up and he stared at them, his face and hair sprinkled with dry tea leaves. He soon lost interest and started to rub his face in the dry leaves again.

Raven kept her eyes on Beast Boy as she responded. "It's just something new I though I'd try. It's dried catnip, it's supposed to relax..." she trailed off as she made the connections in her mind. "Oh," was all she could say as her eyes widened in realization. She hadn't even considered that when buying it, though now it seemed so obvious. She mentally berated herself for not thinking of that. Now, Beast Boy was on what she could only describe as an intense drug trip and it was her fault. There was a moment of silence as a look of guilt passed over her face, then Cyborg burst out laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHA! No way, that is just too good!" Cyborg choked out as he began rolling on the floor holding his sides. Beast Boy, startled by Cyborgs sudden laughter, skidded over to hide behind Raven's legs. After determining that the laughter wasn't a threat, Beast Boy began to rub his head against Raven's legs. She looked down to find that he was staring up at her with pleading eyes. He rubbed against her leg once more, and Raven caught the sound of a low rumbling coming from the green boy.

'Is he purring?' She thought to herself. As if to confirm her question, he looked up at her and started purring more audibly. 'Well that's disturbing,' she thought as she looked down at him.

Seeing as he wasn't getting any attention that way, Beast Boy rolled onto his back, with his hands and feet sticking upward, staring expectantly up at her.

Cyborg's laughing stopped only long enough for him to force out a few words. "Yo, Raven, I think he wants you to scratch his belly!" He dissolved into another fit of laughter. As if confirming Cyborg's words, Beast Boy let out a soft, pathetic mew, his eyes shimmering with tears. Sighing with defeat and making a decision she would later insist was done purely out of guilt, Raven turned to Cyborg.

"You are never to speak a word of this to anyone, got it?"

"Y-Ya, got it. Not a word" Cyborg managed to gasp out between laughter as he prepared the video recording function in his mechanical eye.

Sighing, Raven reached down and started to scratch the boy's stomach. He purred with delight and closed his eyes in bliss. He soon started to wriggle his body so that she was scratching lower on his stomach. She shot him a glare, but he just stared innocently up at her, purring.

"Hey Raven, rub any lower and we might have to start calling you two a couple!" without turning around, Raven sent Cyborg hurtling across the room, his laughter not stopping even as he slammed into the wall.

"Come on Beast Boy," Raven said and walked over to the couch. He pranced after her on all fours and jumped up on the couch when she sat down. He put his head in her lap and curled against her as best as he could in his human form. She started to idly scratch his head as she picked up the book she had abandoned earlier and turned to the appropriate page. After a few minutes, his loud purring became softer and quieter as he drifted off into sleep.

…

Beast Boy's eyes slowly opened. As his awareness gradually came back to him, he noticed he was laying on something soft and warm. He nestled his head into the warmth and noticed a soothing, steady beating coming from whatever he was laying on. Curious, he turned an eye upward and saw that he was in someones lap. Raven's lap to be exact. He stopped dead and prayed she hadn't noticed him waking up. Beast Boy began to panic and wonder how on earth he ended up in this situation, Raven was defiantly going to kill him. His memories started to come slowly back to him as he began to wake up more and his cheeks burned with embarrassment as he remembered what a fool he had made of himself. What had he done? No one would ever take him seriously again after that!

'This sucks!' he thought to himself. 'Everyone's going to laugh at me and they're all going to think I'm a freak! I should get up and apologize, then maybe Raven will only think I'm an idiot for a few years. Ya right, she'll never let me live this down. I should just-' his thoughts were interrupted as he noticed Raven idly scratching his head. She ran her fingers through his hair and lightly trailed her nails along his scalp. It felt so good. Involuntary, he let out a little purr and snuggled closer to her. He supposed he could wait a few minutes.

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><p><strong>YOU THERE.<strong> Ya, you who just read that story. Why are you reading this when you should be reviewing? Shame on you. Review my stories so that I may know your opinions and improve them!

Cats are crazy when you give them catnip. And yes you can buy catnip tea, I've had some before. It was ok.

As always, sign the Teen Titans Petition linked in my earlier chapters.


	8. Zombies

(Insert 3 paragraph lame excuse here)... and that's why it took me three weeks to update. But enough about me, lets talk about you. What do you think of me?

This is a chapter that every good Teen Titans fic will have. Without it, you shouldn't even bother writing a story. That's right, you guessed it. I'm talking about a chapter with ZOMBIES!

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><p>Chapter 8: Zombies<p>

Robin had been the first to fall. Through sheer force of will, he had lasted longer than almost any other human, but he was still human and his fate had already been sealed. He had made them promise that when he turned, they would kill him so that he wouldn't hurt anyone. A hero until death and even after. When he finally turned, it had been Starfire who had insisted she do the deed. after all, she was his, and he was hers. She had given him an honorable death, a worriers death, but that did nothing to ease the anguish she had felt.

The next who had fallen had been Cyborg. He had told them not to worry and had asserted that his mechanical parts protected him from any known disease. But then again, this was not any know disease, was it? His wishes had been the same as Robin's. When he turned, it was a hard battle, he was fully integrated into the tower and they were forced to fight against their home and their friend. He had no instinct left for self protection and in the end, he overloaded the tower's nuclear reactor, forcing the other titans to flee and take refuge while everything they knew was vaporized.

Starfire was not at all human and the disease had no effect on her. Beast Boy, although he would never admit it, was more animal than human. Raven was protected by the powerful demon blood that flowed through her veins, no virus or bacteria could survive with the hellfire essence that coursed through her. The three remaining titans were immune to the plague that scoured the earth. Whether that was a blessing or a curse, they didn't know. the world had crumbled around them and all they could do was watch, unable to stop the exponential spread of the virus.

Soon after, Starfire had left for Tamaran in hope of gathering an army to combat the scourge that had almost taken the whole planet. She had not been heard from since.

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><p>Their feet pounded against the hard cement as the rain poured down around them. They skidded to a stop as they rounded the corner and came face to face with what the very thing they had been trying to escape. Without stopping to think, they turned around and ran in the opposite direction. Twisting and turning through alleyways, they attempted to loose their pursuer. The alleyways soon opened into a small park that had once been built in an attempt to add some color to the dull, polluted air of Jump City's industrial section. Eyes quickly scanning the park, one of the figures pointed. The other nodded and without hesitation, they both threw themselves into the pool of mud that had once been a sandbox. The creatures came soon after, but stopped short when they could no longer smell or see their prey. They paused a moment and began to sniff at the air. After a few moments, they turned and left, unsuccessful in their hunt.<p>

The two pulled themselves out and stealthy made their way to a large nearby building, the rain washing off most of the mud. They pulled open the large doors and froze as the hinges screeched in protest. All that running to be caught now? They remained frozen for a minute, but when they didn't hear the characteristic screech of the creatures, they decided they were safe and slipped inside. They had been lucky. They leaned against the door and surveying their new temporary home, something caught their eye. Crates and crates of packaged food were scattered around the floor, this had once been home to a large food conglomerate company. Squealing with joy, one of the figures did a little dance which was only stopped when the other one smacked him hard upside the head. Rubbing his head and glaring at the other one, he began to stack boxes at the far end of the warehouse. She levitated several boxes over and helped him in construction a makeshift barrier in the far corner. When it was done, they opened a few packages began munching on the contents, glad for some rest and food.

They were so tired from the physical exhaustion. Running had become more common among the two who usually preferred to take to the air. But they couldn't fly for fear of being spotted from the creatures on the ground, so they were forced to run. After they were full, they seated themselves behind the crates and stared at the door in silence for what seemed like hours. Finally one of them spoke up.

"Hey, Raven?" Beast Boy asked, turning away from the door to face her.

"What?" She responded, turning slightly, but still keeping watch on the door.

"Do you think things will ever go back to normal?" He asked, voice quivering slightly, seemingly pleading for her to give him an answer that neither of them would believe.

"I...I don't know." She responded truthfully, turning to fully face him. "It seems everyone has turned, no one has been immune"

"But what about that little girl?" Beast Boy protested, unwilling to accept what she was saying. "She was fine before they..." he trailed off, the gruesome memory coming back to him. A shiver coursed through him and he suddenly realized just how cold it was. He continued shivering and Raven looked over to him before opening her cloak. He scooted close to her and she wrapped her cloak around both of them. The last few weeks had taught her that survival came before dignity. After a few moments, his shivering subsided.

"I just want to go back, I want to see Star and Robin and Cy." He said after a while, a strangled sob escaping his throat. "I want to go home..."

Raven felt her own emotions well up in her and she fought to hold back tears as she pulled the changeling closer. She began stroking his back as he choked out more sobs and buried his face in her shoulder. His body began shaking and, he grabbed onto her and held her tight, fearing she might die on him as well. She comforted him silently, knowing that if she said anything she would lose what little control she had left. They had both had moments like this over the last month. There were times when everything that had happened just overwhelmed her and she thought she could no longer take it and she almost gave up. But they were always there to help each other through. All they had anymore was each other and they clung to that with all their might.

After a few minutes, his shaking started to slow and eventually stopped altogether. "Thanks Rae...for everything." He whispered into her shoulder.

"You don't have to thank me, you would have done the same." She responded.

He turned his face up and looked into her violet eyes. "No, I really mean it," He began with nothing but sincerity in his voice, "We've been through so much, our whole world was ripped from us and everything changed so quickly. you're only stable thing I have, I'd have probably gone crazy by now if you weren't here," He said with a bitter chuckle. "All these months alone would have driven me insane, it really means a lot to me that you're here. You're my best friend and maybe...maybe something more." He finished, staring intently into her eyes.

"W-what?" she asked stunned

"I know this probably isn't the best time, but there's a good chance we wont make it out of this whole mess." He said solemnly, "If we end up dying, I just want you to know that you were never alone, there was always someone here who appreciated you."

"Beast Boy... I don't know what to say."

"That's OK Raven," he said with a sincere smile. "You don't need to say anything, I just wanted you to know that."

It was a lot of information to process. To say that there wasn't something between them was a lie. After all, they had been dependent on each other for months and they had saved each other lives countless times. They had seen some of the most horrifying things and had lost their friends. They had gone through all this together with only each other for support. Maybe she felt the same or maybe it was the months of isolation with him that developed some kind of bond; she wasn't sure, () "Beast Boy, I-"

She was cut off as his ears perked up and he raised a finger to his lips. She nodded in understanding. There would be time to talk about this later, they were coming.

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><p>How many had they killed? Hundreds? Thousands? She had lost count hours ago. It started as trying just to incapacitate, but soon they realized they would just have to kill. They couldn't think of these things as the people they had once protected, they had to pretend that the occasional familiar face was nothing more than a figment of their imagination. Otherwise they might have stopped for a moment and considered what they were doing, who they were killing. And if they had stopped to consider that, they wouldn't have been able to keep fighting.<p>

No matter how many of them they took down, there were more to replace it. She had thought the bodies would pile up, maybe slow down their onslaught. It didn't. The ones that weren't fighting were busy eating the fallen. There was a whole city of hungry monsters after them and they couldn't fight forever. She was getting tired and she could see the exhaustion clear in Beast Boy as well. Even in his Beast form, he was getting sluggish, taking too many hits and bleeding more than he had a right to. They didn't have very much time left in them.

"Beast Boy!" Raven shouted over the chaos, as she sent a sharp wave of energy clean through the necks of a small group that was coming after her, their blood staining her already drenched cloak. He turned his ears towards her, acknowledging he was listening, even as he tore a body in two and tossed the remains aside, sinews falling from his claws. "We can't go much longer, get to the back wall!" she yelled to him. He gave a quick nod and began tearing through the flesh in his way. She made her way to the back, sending small, sharp bursts to conserve power, killing as efficiently as possible. When she reached the wall he was there still fighting off oncoming creatures. Sending one last arc of energy flying out, she cleared a small half-circle around them and erected a small barrier, using the wall to protect their backs.

Beast Boy transformed back and collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily and quickly loosing blood. Raven kneeled down and began to heal him. With every second she washed the cool blue light over him, the barrier became more and more transparent. "Raven, you're wasting your power, you need it to protect yourself." He protested weakly.

She shook her head, tears beginning to form. "I've had everything taken away from me, I'm not going to loose you too." he opened his mouth to reply, but she covered it with her hand. He struggled against it momentarily, but soon gave up as she held her hand firm. He was too tired to argue, too tired to stay awake. Against his own will, he slowly closed his eyes and drifted into a fitful sleep.

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><p>Beast Boy awoke to a loud bang. 'What is that?' He thought. 'Is Cyborg messing around with his car again?' he slowly sat up, rubbed his eyes, and let out a yawn. When he opened his eyes he was greeted by the sight of thousands of monsters clawing at Raven's barrier. His memories came flooding back to him and he cringed. He had hoped it was all just a dream. Beast Boy looked down at his wounds and noted that they were now just light scars. He looked back up at the barrier and noticed it was even lighter than before, almost completely see through in fact.<p>

He then turned to Raven, who was sitting next to him and meditating in an attempt to keep the barrier up for as long as possible. She wasn't floating above the ground like she normally did. "How long have I been out?" He asked, fear in his voice.

"About an hour," Raven replied. She opened her eyes and looked to him. "I can't hold this up much longer" she said in a solemn voice. "They're getting smarter, they've started hitting with much heavier objects." As if to prove her point, a large car suddenly came hurtling towards them and smashed against Raven's barrier with a loud crash. She flinched as it collided and her barrier wavered momentarily.

"Raven, we're not going to make it out of this, are we?" Beast Boy asked, ears drooping and resignation in his voice.

She searched his eyes and thought for a moment before reaching under her leotard and pulling out a chain, on which was attached a penny. "Beast Boy," she said at last, "you gave this to me when I thought the world was going to end. When the very essence of evil itself had manifested in me. I had given up and I thought I was alone. You gave me the hope I needed to survive. You reminded me that I was not alone. That together, we could conquer anything and that is what allowed me to survive. We made it through that, and we can make it through this."

"You're right Raven," He said, regaining some of his old self and puffing out his chest as if it made him look stronger. "We can do this...together!" She gave him a small smile and he asked her "Raven, do you remember what I said to you when I gave you that?" Without waiting for an answer, he swiftly leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. She stared at him wide-eyed. "For good luck," he said with that cheeky smile of his. "Maybe all we need is a little luck."

She reached over and returned the kiss on his lips. It was over before he even realized it had begun. "For good luck," she whispered back, holding the penny delicately in her hands. His smile grew larger even as the banging on her barrier became more prominent. As another car crashed against the barrier, it began to melt away until finally there was nothing left to protect them. Wasting no time, they launched into battle.

Pushing past exhaustion, Beast Boy once again transformed into the Beast. He lept toward the hoard and began tearing them apart as quickly as he could. Raven gathered her courage, then summoned an energy that she had forsaken long ago. Her eyes became tainted with red and her nails grew and sharpened into long claws. Her features became more harsh and she was instantly filled with an insatiable blood lust. Wearing a smile born from the depths of hell, she charged at the oncoming waves of creatures and began to kill them in ways that would make the bravest man turn away in fear. As the blood and guts splattered around her, she couldn't help but to enjoy it in her current form. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that even like this, she couldn't last much longer.

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><p>"Friends, I have returned!" Came a shout. "Are are you unharmed?" Starfire had tracked her friends communicators to this warehouse, but she was unable to see past the creatures that flooded constantly into the building. The creatures mostly ignored her alien body and flesh as she forced her way into the warehouse.<p>

A demonic snarl was all that greeted Starfire as several bodies covered in dark energy were thrown into the wall above her head.

"Raven!" Starfire shouted out. She attempted to summon some happy feelings to fuel her flight, but it was no use. She had not been able to fly since Robin died. Getting to Tamaran had been near impossible. Changing tactics, her hands immediately began glowing and she started to fire into the crowd in front of her. The creatures turned toward the new threat and began to attack at her without mercy. Starfire began to fight through the hoard to reach her friends and the bodies surged around her even as she began to cut them down with her eye lasers.

Suddenly there were screams that Starfire knew came from Raven. Her eyes began to glow again with determination and she tore her way through with a renewed effort. They bit her and tore skin from muscle, but she ignored it and continued to fight her way to the source of the screams. She was still too far away from them, when suddenly the screams stopped. Fearing for the last of her friends, her family, she felt an emotion welling up inside her that she had never felt before. Murderous rage. She let out a scream of rage and her once green starbolts flickered then turned red. Leeching out the pure nuclear radiation she had accrued from the stars, she began to emit a violent crimson glow around her as her skin and aura became radioactive.

She began to run through the hoard knocking them out of the way like rag-dolls. Any of the creatures that came in contact with her aura began blistering and shrieking inhumanly as her radioactive skin seared at their flesh. She fired a blood red starbolt at the mob in front of her and it exploded with such violence that it vaporized the all of monstrosities and the ground beneath them. She could finally see Beast Boy and Raven. Beast Boy was laying behind Raven, bleeding heavily and covered in wounds. Raven was kneeling protectively in front of him, now more demon than human. She had large cuts and bruises and several chunks of skin and muscle were missing in patterns resembling bite marks; She seemed to be struggling just to stay conscious. The creatures occasionally got past her rapidly weakening defenses and would bite out what they could, causing her to let out a short scream and angrily swat them away with what little strength she had left, which only served to anger them at this point. Starfire lept over the hole she had created and charged towards her friends. She reached them within seconds and stood in front of Raven, her eyes glowing red.

"You will not harm my friends any further!" She yelled out before sending large, powerful arcs of red energy flying out and disintegrating everything they touched. As the beams touched the walls, they burst into flames which quickly spread. In one swift move, Starfire sent arcs of energy at all the ceiling in front of her and the two tired heros. Upon contact, the steel melted and burned as it came crashing down in front of Starfire. The creatures began scrambling as an inferno of steel and fire rained down on them. The room soon became filled with terrifying screeches as the monsters were incinerated and crushed.

At long last, the sound of a war horn could be heard. Tamaranians flew down through the holes in the roof and landed around their Starfire. Before the creatures could recover from Starfire's previous attack, the Tamaranians began to tear at the fiends and pushed them back from their beloved princess. The zombies attention diverted, Starfire turned to face her friends. Raven was still kneeling over Beast Boy, and when Starfire approached, she let out a low, demonic growl.

Starfire gave her a sad smile and said, "Friend you needn't worry anymore, you are safe." She slowly reached a hand out to Raven, who stared at it for a moment before accepting it. Starfire helped her up and pulled her into a gentle hug. She felt Raven tense up and let another low growl escape. "You are not a demon Raven, remember your past, remember your friends," she gently whispered into Raven's ear. She continued to whisper into her ear until finally, she felt Raven relax. She pulled back slowly and watched as her friend began transform back into what she knew her to be. Her claws retracted back into nails, her eyes once again became violet, and her features softened, until she resembled who she once was.

When she was once again fully human, she whispered out, "Thank you Starfire," before passing out and slumping in Starfire's arms. Starfire gently laid her down next to Beast Boy.

"It is OK," Starfire said with tears in her eyes, "everything will be OK." Her tears fell freely as she crouched over the bloodied forms of Beast Boy and Raven.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, what'd you think of that? What? WHAT? I'm sorry, I can't here you through the internet. You'll have to leave me a review so I know what you're saying. <strong>If not, that's cool too. It will only hurt my feelings a little bit... I lied, it will hurt my feelings a lot.

so, what did you think? I personally loved this one just for what it is. How could I resist zombies? Better or worse than the others? Different for sure, not so much funny going on here. So, let me know if I can pull it off! Or give me some suggestions to improve this one. Or some suggestions for a story, I take those too.

As always, sign the petition!


	9. His Secret Shame

Also, in case any of you didn't hear, It's finally happened! The Titans are back! Airing in 2013, we can expect to see The New Teen Titans! Full 30 minute episodes! Stuart Snyder has been watching the petition, and Cartoon Network has seen the popularity of the shorts, so they have finally decided to put it back o the air!

We have worked long and hard and finally, the show will be coming back. I thank all of you who helped me along in this four year battle and I also send my thanks to those who gave their support to the show by signing the petition. You were all paramount in bringing the show back. Well, except for the people who sent me very mean messages on deviantart, they weren't so helpful. :P

I hope you will all watch the show and maybe it will run for years to come!

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><p><strong>Chapter 9- His Secret Shame<strong>

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><p>"Yo, BB! We're going to the store, you comin?" Cyborg shouted through the changelings door.<p>

"Uh, not today Cy, I'm feeling a little sick" Beast Boy said from behind the door. He gave a fake cough to prove his point.

"Alright man, get some rest and we'll be back in a couple hours"

"OK," he responded. He put his ear up to the door and listened to Cyborg's retreating footsteps. 'Alright, this is my chance!' He so rarely got to be by himself, and he was going to make the most of it! He heard the 2000hp engine of the T-car start up and drive off, the noise receding as it got farther away. As soon as he could no longer hear the engine, he scampered off to the common room.

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><p>Raven's eyes flicked briefly to the screen as she entered the common room. She dully noted that whoever was on the computer was reading something quite long and was engrossed enough that they didn't notice her come in. she assumed Robin had stayed behind to read up on some criminal and paid little attention to the screen. Raven floated silently over to the kitchen and put the tea kettle on the stove. She stood idly by and planned her day in her mind as she waited for the water to boil.<p>

Soon enough, the water started to boil and the instant the kettle's whistle broke through the air, there was a loud, surprised gasp that originated from the couch's current inhabitant. She looked over towards couch and noticed the screen quickly change from the text she had seen earlier, to a random Wikipedia article about...ducks? Her curiosity piqued, she took a few steps to the side to get a better look at the source of the gasp. A green head poked up from the back of the couch and stared at her with wide, frightened eyes. "H-hey Raven," Beast Boy stammered out. "How long have you been there?" He asked, panic in his voice and a red tint to his cheeks.

"About 5 minutes."

"W-why aren't you at the store with them?" He asked, apprehension rising in him.

"I had some things to do," she said narrowing her eyes. "What were you reading?" She questioned. His face grew redder, now more of a reddish brown than green.

"Uh, n-nothing, just browsing the internet." He gave an obviously fake smile and let out a nervous chuckle.

"Oh," Raven said, entirely unconvinced. She gave Beast Boy a suspicious glare.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence and Beast Boy thought to himself, 'Shit, she must have read it; She knows! She's gonna kill me!' He screamed in his head. After a minute of glaring at Beast Boy suspiciously, Raven broke the silence.

"Well, I'm going to go meditate," she said slowly, before pouring her tea into a cup.

"OK" Beast Boy said, breathing a sigh of relief and relaxing to an inhuman degree. "Well, I guess I wont wait up for you. Heh-heh"

"Right..." Raven said, growing distrustful of the green prankster. His eyes followed her as she walked towards the doors and she knew he was up to something. 'That little imp wont get the best of me,' she thought as she concluded that she must discover Beast Boy's intentions for her own safety.

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><p>Beast Boy continued to watch the doors for several minutes after the empath had left through it. At last, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and turned back to the screen. "Whew! That was close." He said as he went back to his original page. He had at least two hours before Raven finished meditating, so he reasoned that he was safe for a little while more.<p>

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><p>Raven floated down the hall, not making a sound. As she approached the doors, she slowed down. Careful not to activate the doors' motion sensors, she melted into the adjacent wall and stepped out into the common room. she noiselessly floated in the direction of the couch. A third of the way, half of the way, a fourth, but the words were still too small to be able to read. 'Damn his eyesight must be good,' she thought to herself. So close, she was almost at the back of the couch now. Suddenly his ear twitched and Raven froze. He rose his hand and her eyes widened as she watched him...scratch his ear. She let out a small breath and wondered when her heart had started beating so fast. It was a miracle he couldn't hear it with how loud it was pounding; he must have really been into whatever it was he was reading. Raven edged closer and squinted. Slowly the fuzzy squiggles formed into words and she silently moved her mouth as she read.<p>

"_Ravens body pressed closer to his, she could feel his heart beginning to race. "Beast Boy," she said softly. _

'What is this? Why is it about us? Raven wondered to herself.

_She pulled back slightly and began to trace his abs lightly through his costume. "stop pretending there's nothing here, I can feel your desire every time you look at me...and it excites me." her finger traced lower_

'Oh, no!' she thought as her eyes widened with realization, 'he wouldn't!'

"_lust wants you." her hand was on his belt now. "i want you." her hand disappeared beneath his belt. "so come on, show me the beast inside of you," he gasped lightly as her hand wrapped around his-"_

"BEAST BOY WHAT THE HELL!" Raven shouted, her face twisting in anger and disgust. He let out a loud yelp and jumped up.

"R-Raven, its not what you think!" he stammered out, his voice cracking as he attempted to cover the giant screen with his small body.

"Than what is it?" she responded, her voice deeper and multitoned. She began to advance on the helpless changeling.

"I-I was j-just about to...message the author?" He stuttered. "Y-ya! I couldn't let them have something like this on the internet, I was going to tell them to take it down!" he said proudly, thinking it was a believable enough excuse. "So, I guess you're welcome, you can thank me later." he began to edge towards the doors. "I'll be seeing you later Raven, I've got to go clean my-" he was cut off as his body and mouth became surrounded in dark energy. He panicked and attempted to fight against the bonds that held him.

Raven didn't say a word and continued to advance on Beast Boy, her eyes had split into four red ones and she had grown at least a few feet. He struggled some more, before getting still, resolving himself to his fate. She was only a few feet away now; He closed his eyes and turned his head away, praying she would take pity on him.

* * *

><p>Beast Boy's muffled scream came through walls and could clearly be heard down in the garage, where the other three titans had just returned from their trip to the store. "someone must have broken into the tower while we were gone. find Beast Boy and make sure he's safe. Titans, Go!" Robin commanded. They dropped the groceries and ran up toward the direction of the scream. As they approached the double doors, they swooshed open to reveal Raven.<p>

"Raven, what was that scream? Is Beast Boy OK? Robin asked, preparing himself for a fight.

"No," she responded flatly. "He needs to be taken to the med bay."

"Why, what happened to him?" Robin asked, fearing for his friend and teammate.

"From what I can tell, it looks like he ran repeatedly into a wall, smashed himself into the refrigerator, destroyed the computer, then jumped through the window." she said in a bored tone. "you should probably tell him to clean up the mess he made when he wakes up." she called over her shoulder to her confused teammates as she walked down the hall to her room.

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><p>There you go! Suggestions for improvement are always appreciated. After all, I'm not perfect. Though I'm pretty damn close.<p>

Let me know if you have any requests. Your story request could inspire millions! Or something.

**Please review!**


	10. That was unexpected

The new Teen Titans show is out! It's called called 'Teen Titans Go!' I've had tons of people message me saying that we should start up the campaign again, because this Teen Titans is not the same as the last and it wasn't what we had wanted. I actually like the new one, so sue me.

No, it's not the same. It's not as serious and has only shreds of continuity. But I thought it was pretty damn funny. Plus, it's our same favorite heros, even the same voice actors, they're just in a different situation. Adventure time started out less serious too, but it grew; I think this will too. Give it a fair shot.

**That was Unexpected**

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><p>She could feel them all around her, brilliant points of light in a vast, empty nothingness. They contrasted starkly to the dim light that was inside herself. The darkness swirled all around her, eating away at her very being, but none of that mattered as long as she could reach those lights. Drifting closer and closer, she could feel a few individual points beginning to distinguish themselves from the millions of others that twinkled in the distance. As she drew closer to the points of her focus, energies began to leech off of them and fill her up, brightening her own dim light. The closer she got, the more they funneled into her, bringing new life to what had only minutes ago felt like death. She was almost there; almost close enough to touch the lights. She reached out to do so.<p>

The door to the Titan's common room swished open, revealing Raven. With her commonplace stoicism, she made her way over to their kitchen, trying her best to ignore the current debate that raged between the other Titans. Despite the rapidly escalating voices of the Changeling and the half robot, she managed to keep her composure. _'They can never just agree with each other for even one moment, it's a wonder they're such good friends_,' she mused to herself. The rising tension in the room began to take its toll on her empathic senses and the beginning of a dull headache started to form. Opening the cupboard, she pulled out a tin of loose leaf tea. She cracked open the top and inhaled the scent slowly. Just the smell alone was enough to relax some of the tension that was beginning to seep into her through the emotions of her friends. She glanced hopefully over at Robin, praying that he would intervene. Unfortunately for her, it appeared he was too busy pretending to ignore them by burying his face into the morning newspaper to be of any help. By the vein pulsing on his forehead, it appeared he was having a difficult time, but Robin was nothing if not stubborn. As long as it didn't come to physical violence, and to their credit, it only did a couple times a week; he wouldn't get involved for fear of being pulled into the argument like so many times before. Starfire watched with concern from next to Robin. She hated to see her friends fight, but by now, even she knew that it was pointless to try and stop them, it was just their way.

So, it was up to her to stop this, because if they kept it up, it was going to drive her insane. Not like that would be different from any other day, but still, she had to keep up appearances. Calmly, she filled the kettle with water and started it on the stove.

"Dude! How could you be so heartless? You're taking a life, eating a soul! Have you ever thought about that pig's family?!" Beast Boy shouted, his face contorted in disgust.

"You know something BB, you're right," Cyborg responded, looking a little guilty as he pondered the thought. "I bet his family would taste DELICIOUS too!" He licked his lips as Beast Boy let out a high-pitch, manly squeal.

"YOU MONSTER!" Beast Boy leapt from his chair and attempted to bore a hole through his best friend with his glare. "I won't let you get away with this!"

"Oh what grass stain, you wanna piece of this? I'll eat you alongside this little piggy and his whole family! I bet even short and ropy would taste good with enough CY-B-Q sauce!" Cyborg taunted.

"AAAAAHHHGG!" Beast Boy yelled as he pounced at Cyborg. He came within inches of Cyborg before smashing face-first into a black barrier. With a grunt, he slid down and landed on his back, dazed. "Uhhhhggg," he gargled out.

"HAHAHAHA!" Cyborg began to laugh uproariously. "Serves you right, grass stain! Even Raven's on my side!" In response, a large stack of that morning's waffles was dumped on his head, complete with a syrup topping.

"I'm not on anyone's 'side,'" she stated. "The whole argument is stupid anyways, neither of you is ever going to admit you are wrong, so why do you keep fighting about it?"

"Aw man, Raven, this syrup is going to take forever to get out of my circuits, "Cyborg complained, completely ignoring her question.

"Thank God Raven, I thought those two would never shut up," Robin said from behind his newspaper.

"Glad I could be of service," Raven droned unenthusiastically, returning to her tea.

"Yes, I too am glad that they are no longer fighting, but must you punish them so?" Starfire inquired. "I do not like to see my friends in such pain," she gestured to Beast Boy, who was still lying on the floor, groaning.

"Hey, if he didn't want to be hurt, he would stop. He should know by now what's going to get him in trouble," Raven replied. "Honestly, with how often he tests me, I'm beginning to think that he enjoys the pain." Starfire gave her a doubtful look and glanced at Robin for support, of which none could be found.

"Uuggghhh," Beast Boy chimed in.

"Look at him; he's practically in ecstasy right now," Raven said flatly as she floated over Beast Boy and past Cyborg, who was grumbling something about a tragic waste of waffles and cleaning out his circuits. She sat down and levitated a book from the sofa into her waiting hand. She opened the book and began reading, effectively letting Starfire know she was done with the conversation.

"Rae, that was mean, even for you," Beast Boy whimpered quietly from his spot on the floor. His face was starting to swell from the impact, turning his emerald skin a slight shade of brown. He shifted position and massaged his nose gently. "I think it's broken!" He whined, still rubbing his nose.

Raven rolled her eyes and replied, "If it was broken, you wouldn't be able to sit there and rub it like an idiot."

"But it hurts!" He complained, propping himself up to a sitting position. She rolled her eyes again.

"For a super hero, you sure can't take much," she criticized. "Maybe this was the wrong profession for you. I think you could really reach your full potential elsewhere. Maybe a bus-boy, or something equally fitting of your 'unique' talents," she added.

In response, his ears drooped as a dejected look appeared on his face. He stuck out a quivering bottom lip and looked up at her with big, watering eyes, followed quickly by sniffling. She matched his gaze, not breaking. He transformed into a small kitten and let out a pathetic meow, pawing at the air. When he realized it wasn't working, his ears drooped down and his eyes grew wide, shimmering with tears. If it was possible for a kitten to cry, he was making it happen. Raven looked at passively for a few moments before giving in. "Fine." She said, breaking eye contact in defeat. Instantly his demeanor brightened and he changed back, a large, toothy smile plastered all over his face.

"Nobody can resist the face," he said triumphantly.

"Do you want me to help you or not?" Raven said, shooting him a glare.

"Yes, please," he replied quickly, not wanting to test his luck.

She set her book down and got up, walking over to where he was sitting on the floor. From her hands, a soft blue light appeared. She cupped her hand to his cheek and he gasped slightly at the contact as the cool blue light danced across his face, repairing the damage that had been done to the poor Changeling. The swelling went down, but the reddish brown tint remained as he met eyes with the empath healing him. She didn't seem to notice though; instead her gaze seemed to look through him as she focused on repairing his ruptured blood vessels. When she finished, she stood up and held out a hand for him to take. He stared vacantly at the same spot for a few moments, not moving. An annoyed look crossed Raven's face and she waved her hand in front of his face. He looked up at her with a dazed expression and she presented her hand again, a little impatiently.

"T-Thanks, Rae," he stammered as he accepted her hand and refused to make eye contact, his blush spreading further across his face.

"No problem," she said, looking at him curiously, puzzled by his odd behavior. Under her quizzical gaze, his blush deepened.

_'Oh God, someone just please kill me now!_' He silently screamed to the heavens, feeling as though the whole world was watching his every move, which didn't make it any easier to fight the redness that was becoming more and more apparent with each passing moment. It really couldn't get any worse than this.

Apparently, somebody disagreed. A barely restrained giggle shattered what little dignity he had left and he slowly turned his head to face the noise. Starfire, the source of the giggle, had a hand covering her mouth as she watched the scene unfold. Next to her was Robin, who had put down his newspaper and had a slight smile on his face. Behind them stood Cyborg, who had momentarily stopped scraping syrup off himself and was currently doing all he could not to bust up laughing at the young Changelings obvious awkwardness.

A whistle pierced the air. "Oh good, my tea is done." Raven said, turning her gaze to the teapot. Beast Boy breathed a sigh of relief and glared threateningly at his fellow teammates, who pretended to return to each of their respective activities. There was silence as Raven poured herself a cup of tea.

"So...Raven," Beast Boy broke the silence with all the suave he could muster, his voice cracking as he said her name. Cyborg practically choked while Starfire let out another not-so-subtle giggle. Robin dropped his convincing guise of newspaper reading to, once again, watch as the youngest Titan embarrassed himself. Beast Boy shot them another glare, his face gaining a lovely brownish hue once more.

"Yes?" She asked as she turned to face him.

"Well...uh...I just thought...um-" He began confidently, staring down at his feet as he scuffed their newly waxed floor with his boots.

"What is it?" Raven cut in impatiently. His ears drooped for a moment before perking back up.

"Well, you've just been in your room for the past couple days, and no one's seen you come out to eat, so I was just thinking that maybe you were hungry, cause' I know I would be, and I figured you could use something to eat, cause' all you've had is that nasty tea stuff, and you can't live off that forever, even though I know you try to, so I made you some waffles this morning and you should totally eat them, even though food isn't you're thing, cause were all worried that you could get sick or faint on a mission or something from starving yourself." Beast Boy blurted out in one impressive breath. He proudly held out the plate of waffles he had made her that Cyborg had just finished picking up off the floor.

"Floor waffles, my favorite." She commented dryly, eying the dirty waffles. "I think I'll pass."

"Oh." Beast Boy said dejectedly, his ears drooping down. "Well, you should still eat something; it isn't healthy to starve yourself like you've been doing."

"I'm not starving myself, and I assure you I am perfectly fine," Raven said, irritation clear in her voice.

"I believe friend Beast Boy is factually correct, Raven." Starfire interjected. "You have been doing even less of the eating than usual. I have always felt that you did not even eat enough to sustain basic life functions. However, recently you have ingested far less than is normal for you; it is beginning to worry me and indeed, we are all fearing for your safety."

"Is this true?" Raven turned to Robin for a response. "Do you guys think I'm trying to go anorexic to lose weight or something ridiculous like that?" She raised an eyebrow in inquiry.

"No! Nothing like that," he put his hands up in defense. "You are the last one who I'd expect do something stupid for superficial reasons. I assume you have a reason, you always do, but I think it would put us all at ease if you would tell us what's up." The other Titans all nodded in agreement.

"Guess you guys aren't as oblivious as I thought," she muttered, getting a little defensive.

"Aw, comon Raven, we're your roommates, you can't hide stuff like this from us," Cyborg said. "No matter what it is, we're here for you," he added, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I can guarantee it's nothing like you're thinking," Raven said, growing a little apprehensive. "I'm not in any danger and I assure you that I am getting all of the energy I need. Can we let it go now?" She almost pleaded.

"You can't just leave us with that!" Beast Boy practically shouted. "Last time you kept a secret like this, it was cause' the whole WORLD was gonna end! What kind of friends would we be if we just let you deal with whatever this is on your own? That's not what friends do." His face grew serious as he talked. The other Titans chorused in their agreement.

Raven let out a sigh and looked up at them "No chance you guys are gonna let this go, is there?"

"Not a chance, Rae," Beast Boy said in what was meant to be a reassuring tone. Starfire nodded vigorously behind him, Robin and Cyborg chiming in their support.

"Alright, I suppose that you all deserve to know anyway, But don't say I didn't warn you," she stressed, looking them each in the eyes for any signs of doubt, there was none to be found. She took a breath to steady herself and tried to mentally prepare for their possible reactions. "So, you all remember how, on my last birthday, my father used me to come into this dimension and tried to conquer it?" Raven asked rhetorically.

"How could we forget?" Beast Boy responded, the memories sending shivers down his spine.

"Well, being in such close proximity with him caused changes to start in my body and soul that I am still working to correct. It's one thing to fight his influence in my mind, separated by many dimensions, but to face him in his physical form left me with lasting...residue. Even now, certain aspects of my demonic half are active that we're not before." She paused for a moment, trying to gauge any negative reactions from her friends. Once again, she found none. After a brief silence, Robin gestured for her to continue.

"Most of the changes are small, like slightly increased body temperature or even an increase in the strength of my magic. But..." she drew in a breath and the other Titans leaned in closer. "These changes are all a result of one major change- namely one which seemed to give me a near endless supply of energy and fuel. I almost never need to eat anymore because my body is automatically tapping into this new power source." The Titans all stared at her in surprise. They couldn't understand why she would have this incredible new power and not tell any of them about it.

"Friend, that is most joyous!" Starfire exclaimed, thrilled for her friend.

"Yeah Raven, why would you be ashamed of something like that?" Beast Boy asked. "With that kind of power, you could kick some serious bad guy butt!"

"Spill Raven, what's this new power source?" Cyborg asked, an idea already forming in his head. "If I could find a way to tap into it, that would be the end of long hours at the recharge station for me!" He said, already imagining life without the constant fear of powering down.

"Well, that's the thing," Raven said shifting her eyes, unable to look at her fellow teammates.

"What is it Raven?" Robin asked softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. He had been in the business far too long not to know that any power like that came at a price. "Where does this new power come from?" Raven looked down at the floor and mumbled out something. "What was that?" Robin asked. They all leaned closer, holding their breaths.

Raven took in an agonizingly slow breath and looked up at them, not really making eye contact. "Human souls." She stated clearly, cringing at her own words. A stunned silence greeted her confession. She didn't dare to look into her friends faces, for fear that there would be rejection and disgust written all over them. The silence continued for some time until someone recovered enough to form an intelligent sentence.

"I'm sorry, what?" Cyborg blurted out.

"Human souls." Raven repeated quietly, wrapping her arms around herself. "I'm drawing energy from human souls." Another stunned silence followed as the Titans absorbed this new information. Robin was the first to recover this time.

"Has anyone been hurt or has anyone...died from your new ability?" He asked carefully, trying to assess the severity of the problem. She shook her head, still refusing to look up. He breathed a sigh of relief and pushed a little more. "Will this energy drain cause permanent damage?

She shook her head again. "Not that I've seen." She replied weakly.

"But, how can you be certain?" Starfire asked.

Raven looked up and winced at the reply before it came out. "Because the souls that I'm draining are your souls." Another stunned silence. She had known this wouldn't end well, that's why she had hid it for so long. Try as she could to fix it, she hadn't been able to even slow down this process that her demonic half carried out. She desperately wanted to stop; she would rather die than hurt her friends, but she had no control and no power over her own body. She just prayed that they would still accept her and not shun her from her home; she couldn't go through that again. They were her friends, her family and she didn't want to lose them.

Beast Boy was the first to break the long silence. "Wait, so you're telling me that for the past year, you've been EATING my soul?!" His eyes were wide with shock. "I can't believe that you were still getting mad at me those times I snuck into your room; this is totally worse." He grumbled, crossing his arms. He gave a yelp as Cyborg elbowed him in the ribs, shooting him a stern look.

"Why is it that you only draw energy from us, Raven?" Cyborg asked, before Beast Boy could get any more words in.

"I granted you four my power to aide in defeating my father. When you returned it to me, some of your essence came back with it, Raven said solemnly. "Pieces of your essence, of your souls, are mixed with mine, intertwined on the deepest level. I've tried, but I can't separate them without hurting myself, or worse, hurting any of you."

"So, you are sure this is not harmful to us?" Asked Starfire

Raven nodded slowly. "Your souls are able to replenish themselves before any permanent damage is caused. At least that's how it's been so far." She looked each of her fellow Titans in the eyes. "If there was anything I could do to stop this, I would. I don't want to hurt any of you...I'm sorry...I would happily die if it would keep you safe. You're my family." She felt tears start to form in her eyes. "If you want, I can leave. I would understand. Maybe with enough distance, you would be safe from me...I'm sorry," she whispered. She had always felt that it would come to this. There was a time, after they defeated Trigon, in which she believed that she had found a place that she could call home for the rest of her life, but somewhere, in the back of her mind, she knew it was just a silly fantasy.

She felt the weight of a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see the team smiling at her. "Raven, you needn't feel ashamed for circumstances outside of your control," Starfire said. "Misfortunate events happen to everyone, but this is not such an event. We were bonded together before this, and now that bond has grown stronger."

"Yo-you mean, you guys aren't mad? I'm practically eating your souls! Just like Beast Boy said!" She replied almost angrily, gesturing over to him. Didn't they get what they were saying? Didn't they understand the situation? Behind her, the stove became encased in black energy and started to fracture.

"Ah- that's not really what I meant." Beast Boy said, looking down at the floor, feeling guilty for his previous outburst.

"Well, it's the truth. I've been taking pieces of your souls, putting you all in danger." She replied. "Maybe if I left and went far away, the link would eventually weaken and you would all be safe."

"Rae," Beast Boy said, walking over to Raven and gently cupping her chin in his hand. Her eyes widened as he lifted Raven's face so that his jade eyes met her wide amethyst ones. "We're a family, remember? That means we love each other unconditionally, no matter what. We would have given you those pieces of our soul if you had needed them, and we will happily give pieces to you every day if it means you'll stay with us." He gave her a genuine smile, his lower canine poking through. She held his gaze for a moment before turning to look at the other Titans.

"Is that really how you all feel? You're not upset or angry with me?" She asked, her doubts starting to lift.

"I think Beast Boy spoke for all of us Raven," Robin spoke up. "In fact, I couldn't have put it any better myself." A small smile appeared on Raven's face as she was met with a chorus of agreement.

"After leaving Azerath, I never thought I would have a family again…Thank you," she said, her words carrying more emotion with them than ever before. "I wish there was some way I could repay you all.

"You don't have to repay us, that's what we're here for," Cyborg said "That's part of bei-"

"WAIT!" Beast Boy shouted, interrupting Cyborg and startling them all. A small glimmer came into his eyes. This was his chance to get her to do something she had never done before. "You could repay us with a non-stop, 10 hour Mega Monkeys tournament! I'll go set up the controls!" After completely shattering the atmosphere of the room, he raced excitedly over to the Gamestation, eager to grab this opportunity before it slipped through his fingers. He started plugging in extra controllers.

Raven looked to her teammates with surprise on her face. Their expressions all seemed to reflect an apology on the young Titans behalf. Cyborg gave a slight shrug, as if to say 'what can you do?' And Robin just shook his head. Raven turned to look at Beast Boy, her face growing blank.

"No." Raven said, her stern reply sinking the Changelings hopes, and his ears.

"Aw, common Rae," he said, turning to look at her with big puppy eyes. She shook her head, undeterred.

"A lot happened today, I need to meditate and sort everything out," She said, turning and walking toward the door. The door opened with a swish and she began to walk through. Beast Boy let out an exasperated sigh, and sulked over to the couch. He was never gonna get her to play. She stopped halfway through and turned to look over at him. "I_ might _be able to entertain the thought tomorrow," she said. His ears perked up instantly and a wide smile split his face. She gave another, almost imperceptible smile and turned around to leave, the doors swishing shut behind her.

"Sweet!" Beast Boy cheered, jumping up on the couch with a fist pump. "That's practically a yes!" He thought for a moment and stepped off the couch. "Well, it's _almost_ a yes…hmmm." He scratched his head. "What do you think guys?" He asked turning to the other Titans.

"It's practically almost a yes...maybe," Cyborg said with a fake reassuring smile.

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><p>That was longer and more serious than I intended. Anything I should add or subtract? Suggestions always welcome and requests always taken!<p>

Next up: BBxBB pairing?! How's that work?

Or maybe BBxStar. IDK

**Please review**, only with your input can I improve!


	11. Self insertion

This one deals with the lovely phenomenon of self-insertion. A little too similar to some of my previous ones, I'm afraid. Oh well, consider it a warm-up. Stayed up all night tonight and wrote 3 stories. The next two are much longer and they are my favorites. Perhaps a few reviews would convince me to release them early? *wink* *wink* *nudge**nudge*

My god, I've become a review whore.

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><p>The Titans were fighting a fearsome monster in the sewers of jump city. You know the ones: way too big to ever exist and not at all smelly- that wouldn't be dignified. The monster was cinderblock. No, wait, it was Plasmus. He was busy beating the crap out of Robin and Cyborg while the rest of the team just watched.<p>

" Dude, shouldn't we help?" Beast Boy asked stupidly, drool running down his face. You know, cause' he's always leaking some bodily fluid or another. Raven slapped him upside the head while Starfire just tsked, shaking her head.

"Of course not, idiot. We can't just attack him all at once, that would break continuity from the show. We're off screen right now." Raven stated matter-of-factly.

"But-" he was cut short as Cyborg was thrown at him, sending both of them face first into the wall.

"I believe it is now our turn," Starfire said, motioning for Raven to begin her assault. Raven nodded and charged at the villain, with Starfire trailing close behind. Both of them were beaten to a pulp in 6 seconds flat.

"He's stronger than normal, probably because of Slade." Robin said through clenched teeth, pounding his fist into his hand at the mention of the villain. Plasmus punched Robin in the face while he was busy being dramatic. Robin hardly noticed as he flew through several walls, with his fist still balled in his other hand.

"Actually, he's just as strong as normal," a sexy voice commented from down the hall of the sewer. From the collective sewage of a million jump city citizens rose the most devilishly handsome self-insertion you have ever seen. I had- I MEAN, _he _had super sexy knee high boots and was rocking the thinnest G-string money could buy. He was also ripped in a way I will never be and he looked just like me, except he had MAGICALLY lost around 365 pounds. His abs were so perfect, that they had abs too. His voice could only be described as orgasmic, and with one phrase, he brought Plasmus to his gooey, shapeless knees. "You all just suck."

He was gifted with all of the powers I wish I had, and with one glare, Plasmus melted into a pile of slime, never to be seen again.

The Titans all ogled him, no doubt wishing they could be him or sleep with him or fulfill any of my other dark, twisted Titan-related fantasies.

"Golly gee! With power like that, you could help us defeated Slade!" Robin shouted, tossing the guy a communicator, just like he does to every other person that crosses his path.

"Call me Dark Underhand Master Bad Angle Sacrifice Savior or DUMBASS for short," the Mysterious person said, without really being asked. "And no need, I've already got Slade right here!" He exclaimed, pulling a gift-wrapped Slade from one of the many plot holes already forming in this story.

Robin squealed like a little girl and pranced over to Slade, dragging him off to be 'interrogated' in his Slade-themed bedroom.

"Wait, how can we even trust this guy? He just swoops in from nowhere and-" Beast Boy began before he was hit with a rather large melon.

"Sorry about him, he's a little stupid," Raven said, shaking her head sadly. "Come on, we've already got your room set up." Starfire gave a hmph and kicked Beast Boy as she followed Raven out. Cyborg said nothing because he's not important enough to be in my story.

BACK AT THE TOWER:

"Oh, DUMBASS, you were simply amazing," Raven swooned as she walked out of his room. She fainted and Starfire stepped over her corpse.

"I agree, most amazing," Starfire confirmed nodding her freakishly orange head. Several other Titan ladies, whom I am too lazy to name, came out of the room, chorusing their agreement. They were all wearing slutty bikinis.

"Hur-Hur, years of practice ladies, years of practice," He said, his over sexuality and prowess with the ladies compensating for my lack of either. "Now follow me, harem!" He shouted, picking at his G-string and heading over to the ops room, or common room, or whatever you people call it. They followed him like a bunch of lemmings.

He swooshed into the ops room, or common room, or whatever, and threw Cyborg out the window so he could take his place on the Gamestation.

"Yo man, I can't fly!" Cyborg shouted as he fell to his death. Everyone ignored him. Beast Boy appropriately mourned the loss of his best friend by ogling the harem of Bikini Titans (Registered Trademark).

"Wow," He said, drool pouring out of his pants. Wait, that's not right…..MOVING ON.

"Up for a game Beast Boy?" DUMBASS asked, his pecks twitching with every word.

"Sure!" Beast Boy said excitedly. Ever since his best friend, roboman or tinguy or whatever had died, he hadn't had anyone to play games with. DUMBASS was so good, he beat Beast Boy while making out with Raven. Or maybe he lost. IDK. But he was making out with Raven, so he won. Beast Boy was too busy crying about Raven to notice. So as revenge, Beast Boy joined DUMBASS's harem.

Nobody ever said he was smart.

Robin came out of his room, panting heavily with most of his clothes torn off for some reason, even though Slade was tied up. "Slade is putting up a good fight, but I won't give up!"

"Fear not Robin!" DUMBASS said heroically, a cape appearing on him. He teleported to Robins bedroom and saw Slade spread out and tied on the bed. He was laying on Slade-themed sheets, looking up at the Slade poster taped to the ceiling, and tied up with official Slade brand rope (Each sold separately). "You fiend! TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE UP TO!" DUMBASS screamed, wasting several exclamation points.

"MUHAHAHA!" Slade muhahaha'ed, obviously not concerned with the exclamation point shortage. "Can't you see, I let myself get caught by you so that I could sneak into the tower and MAKE YOU MY APPRENTICE!1!" Because that's what Slade does, he kidnaps oc's to add to his collection.

Summoning the last bit of his ENERGY (batteries not included), Slade broke his Slade-themed ropes and grabbed DUMBASS, whisking him off to the Slade-cave.

With him gone, Starfire became the leader of the harem because she's a super slut in the comics. Robin fell into a deep insanity from which he would never return. Cyborg was still dead. But that's OK, his body was being used to fertilize Raven's new garden. Beast Boy was happy because he was in a harem filled with hot, super power girls. And Jump city lived happily ever after while the Titans preformed lewd acts in full view of the city from their living room window.

…

Why aren't you reviewing you soulless, parasitic demon? Yeah, I'm talking to you. Taking everything you want from me and giving me nothing back; abandoning me like some meaningless one night stand who just gave you a night of fantastic, passionate lovemaking. The sight of you disgusts me. Luckily for you, it's not too late for redemption. You know what to do.


	12. You cant stop true love!

On his deathbed, a very wise man once told me something that changed my life forever. He entrusted me with his knowledge and now I will share it with all of you.

As he lay there dying he managed to cough out one last statement. "Child," He said. I could tell he was in a lot of pain and that it was very important to him to share this before he passed on. "You'll never get reviews on your Fanfiction unless you write yaoi/yuri. It's the only way." With that, he died, leaving the world a little emptier in his absence.

So, with that little nugget of wisdom in hand, I give you this.

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><p>Beast Boy gazed at Raven, lust-er love in his eyes. Roaring like a giant kitten, he pounced. He tackled her to the ground and Raven, in a strange burst of OOC, strangely accepted his advances. She threw her priceless book out the window and started making out with his shmexy ears. Somewhere in the background, Starfire and robin were making out. Cyborg was making out with the oven.<p>

But suddenly, through the magic of rabid fangirls, he stopped dead in his tracks. Robin and Cyborg did the same. "I can't do this anymore!" He shouted melodramatically, holding a hand over his eyes.

"B-But Beast Boy," Raven cried emotionlessly, a waterfall of sticky demon tears running down her face and burning their brand new couch.

"No!" Beast Boy shouted, pimp slapping Raven and standing up. "I don't love you! My true love is…" He paused for dramatic effect. It didn't work. "Robin!" Everyone gasped. Except raven; she sobbed monotonously on the ground.

"I love you too Beast Boy!" Robin shouted. "I was just hangin' with Slutfire here because I couldn't admit it to myself!" He leapt past a crying Starfire into Beast Boy's waiting arms.

"B-b-but **friend **Robin. We are in the love!" She blubbered uncontrollably, making a fool of herself. Everyone was embarrassed for her.

"Sorry Slutfire, I just can't stand the way you talk." He said soothingly. "That, and your stupid alien traditions are making me crazy." She calmed down upon hearing his comforting words.

"I-I see. Well, I hope you can find happiness with friend Beast Boy." She said with a smile. He didn't hear though, he was too busy making out with Beast Boy. He picked Beast Boy up bridal style and carried him toward the couch.

"Let's make passionate love in front of our best friends" Robin said romantically. In response, Beast Boy let out a sexy purr and unzipped his suit from the zipper that suddenly appeared on the front of his uniform. Passionate cries erupted from the two boys while the other Titans watched in fascinated horror. In the distance, a bunch of yaoi fangirls could be heard squealing in delight. And one fanboy.

Then, through the power of fanboys, Starfire tore her eyes from the repulsively enchanting beauty of love happening in front of her. She made eye contact with Raven, who had done the same. Flying over to Raven, she leaned close and she spoke in a low, seductive voice, "Since the boys are…occupied, I was doing the thinking that we could perhaps find the comfort in each other."

"WHAT?!" Raven shouted. She couldn't hear anything over the loud, animalistic cries coming from two feet to her left.

"I want to help ease your pain of losing your mate," Starfire said a little louder. The noises from the couch got louder.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU STARFIRE!" Raven yelled, her focus currently on the two boys.

"I WANT TO REPLACE YOUR PAIN WITH PLEASURE!" Starfire screamed. The noises coming from the couch grew deafening.

"STARFIRE, IF YOU DON'T SPEAK UP, I WON'T EVER BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND A WORD YOU'RE SAYING," Raven screeched (monotonously). Starfire grabbed Raven's ear and brought her mouth within inches of it.

"I WISH TO HAVE THE SEX WITH YOU!" She shrieked with all she could muster, blowing back ravens hair and several objects. Just as she did so, the boys went silent, having finished round one.

"AHH!" Raven yelled in pain. "You don't have to be so loud Starfire, I'm sitting right here." Then, Raven's eyes went wide as she realized what Starfire had said. "Y-you really want to do that Starfire?" Raven giggled in her normal, boring voice. She felt happiness start to rear her ugly, pimply head inside her mind. She had always loved Starfire.

Starfire nodded, her face more serious than ever before. "I have felt the love for you ever since we first met and you touched my garboolk with your grebnacks."

"But what about Robin?" Raven asked, her face swelling up with hope.

"X'HAL! Raven, what happened to your face?!" Starfire exclaimed.

"Nothing that concerns you," Raven said mysteriously, her facial swelling receding to an almost tolerable level. "Anyway, what about Robin?" Starfire calmed down and shook her head.

"That clorbag was just so I could get closer to you," Starfire explained. "By sleeping with Robin, I insured that you would remain pure and begin to have the feelings for me."

"Wait, how does that make any sen-" Raven was cut short as Starfire slammed her lips against Raven's. Raven silenced her protest and decided to just go along with it. Since she had chucked her book out the window earlier in the chapter, she didn't really have anything better to do today anyway. Beast Boy and Robin watched as Raven and Starfire did the nasty on their floor. All of the fanboys died of perversion.

"Pfft, amateurs," Robin said shaking his head.

"You gotta use your pinky more!" Beast Boy advised nakedly from the sidelines, making a shoving motion with his smallest finger (No, not that one) "USE THE PINKY! ... No, no! That's all wrong. Do it like this! … GHAA! Just let me do it!" He climbed down to offer his assistance to the girls.

"Hey, man! What about me?" Cyborg asked dejectedly, fighting his way back into the story.

"Didn't you die or something?" Robin asked, barely even looking over at his teammate.

"Nah, that was last chapter." Cyborg said dismissively. He then continued with his whining. "Why doesn't anyone ever pay attention to me? I'm cool! I've got a sonic cannon and everything!" He changed his hand, as if to prove a point.

Beast Boy stopped his lesson to reply. "Dude, do you even have a penis?"

"Have what?" Cyborg responded dumbly.

"This!" Beast Boy exclaimed pointing down to his exposed genitals.

"Uhhh…" Cyborg responded, looking sad. The other Titans laughed at him and his eyes began to water. Suddenly, his face brightened up. "Wait, I think I have one of those in the garage!" Upon hearing that, the other Titans started to laugh louder. Cyborg burst into tears and ran crying from the room, leaving a trail of motor oil in his wake.

"Glad that's out of the way," Beast boy said, turning back to the female Titans. "See, you just gotta really dig in. If your pinky isn't cutting it, don't be afraid to move up to the pointer finger."

"Could we perhaps use the longer middle finger?" Starfire asked innocently. Beast Boy slapped her hard across the face and pinned her to the ground.

"DON'T YOU DARE ASSUME YOU'RE READY FOR THAT!" He shouted in her frightened face. Robin rushed over and pulled the angry, panting changeling off of Starfire.

"Calm down Beast Boy!" Robin said, stroking his head (no, not that one). "She's just a silly alien, she doesn't know any better." Beast Boy relaxed and shook his head clearing it.

"You're right. Of course. Just a silly, stupid alien." He took in a deep breath and looked around. "So, anyone up for a foursome?" He suggested. He was met with a resounding chorus of approval.

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><p>Please, as an honor to the dearly departed, review. If not for me, do it for the old man. You know, the one I mentioned earlier. In the authors note at the top of the page. That none of you read.<p> 


	13. Love at First Sight

Love is a really strong word to use so quickly, but people do it all the time here on Fanfiction. In real life, people hesitate to say the 'L' word, even to a girlfriend. But in some fics, It can be the first thing out of a character's mouth. No asking on dates, or taking it slow; they just jump right into love. I've seen lots of fics that I really liked derailed by the sudden LUV.

Thanks to liannalikepotatoes,TheBeezKneez, Ivory-Tanguay, and Titan18Gamble for reviewing! I love you guys!

Love at First Sight

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><p>"Hey Raven!" Beast Boy exclaimed as he walked into the common room of their newly built tower. The team had just been formed and he was eager to get to know his teammates. This one seemed a bit closed off, but he figured that she just needed a friend to get her to open up.<p>

"Hello." Raven replied flatly, barely looking up from her book to acknowledge him. Beast Boy looked a little unnerved, but he decided to press on.

"Whatcha up to?" He asked, poking his head over her shoulder to stare at the book curiously.

"Reading," She replied, not moving her eyes.

"Oh," Beast Boy replied, a little discouraged. He leaned in closer and stared at the book, scrunching his face in concentration as he tried to decipher the cryptic symbols. "Whassat say?" He asked, jabbing his finger onto a random spot on the page. "Is this one of your magicky books?" Raven huffed in annoyance and brushed his hand away. A slight stain was left behind where his finger was.

"It says 'formality.' It is in English you know." She responded curtly, becoming annoyed.

"Oh," came his disheartened reply. He stayed silent for a few more moments, his breath flowing over Raven. She felt her eye begin to twitch in anger, but said nothing. "How about that one?" He asked, poking at another spot on the paper.

"'Dexterity.'" She said through clenched teeth. He nodded his understanding. Another moment of silence.

"Hey, Raven?" he piped up once again.

"What." She practically growled out. She was reaching the end of her patients.

"What's dexterity mean?" He asked curiously.

"Skill and grace in physical movement," she responded, moving a little farther away on the couch and hoping he would take the hint. He didn't.

"Oh," He said again, moving along with her. He peeked over her shoulder again.

….

"Hey, Raven?" He started. Raven spun around so quickly, her hood fell down , revealing four glowing demon eyes. Beast Boy quickly cowered down, covering his head with his hands and letting out a shrill shriek.

"Will you shut up!" She growled out.

"S-sorry!" He shouted out, shaking with fear. Raven let out a little gasp as her eyes reverted back to normal. She shouldn't have lost control like that, it was too dangerous. If she was going to be a part of a team, she would have to learn to deal with other people, even if they were green and way too happy. She looked over at the cowering changeling and felt a pang of guilt, he was really only trying to include her. With a sigh, she silently offered him her hand.

Beast Boy peaked through his gloves when he heard Raven's sigh and saw the hand being offered to him. He gingerly accepted her hand and he felt a blush cross his cheeks. Raven pulled him into a standing position and he mumbled out "Thanks."

Then, he looked into her deep amethyst eyes and felt something burning deep down inside of him. He had wanted to be her friend, to make her smile. But now he could tell that he wanted more. Being an empath, Raven felt what he was feeling for her at that moment, and it felt nice. It was warm and fuzzy.

"R-Raven, I love you!" He blurted out, his blush deepening.

"But why?" Raven asked, she was just such a terrible person.

"Because you're beautiful and all I can think about is making you smile!" He said. "I can't stand the thought of being away from you. You are my moon and stars and I need to live with you forever! If you refuse me, I wont be able to carry on with life!" He said passionately, dropping onto one knee.

Raven was stunned, but searching through her emotions, she could feel that she loved him too. Not the kind of love that comes through years of dedication and sacrifice, but more like the love you get when someones praises you a lot and you decide that you could really get used to that kind of treatment.

"I love you too!" She exclaimed. She pulled him into her arms and they began kissing with a fiery passion.

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><p>See? Started out good, then took a quick and unexpected turn down lovers lane.<p>

Haha, I hope i'm not insulting anyone here.

Yay! I've been accepted into the community 'Teen Titans Writers Unite.' One of the admins wants to breath new life into the community and has asked me to send over some awesome stories. It's currently the second most-followed Teen Titans community on Fanfiction. So, let me know if you have a story you want to pimp, and I'll send it over if it's good.

Anyway, please review!


	14. Tiger Rampage

I wrote this little one-shot for FelynxTiger's birthday. Which as it happens, is also my birthday! Which is also today! She's the biggest Beast Boy fan out there! She's also the founder of the BbxRae club on Deviantart, as well as admin of the Teen Titans club and a couple others. She wanted this fic to be a summer day at Titans Tower, and I happily obliged. Hehehe...

Tiger rampage.

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><p>It was a normal day at Titans Tower. Dogs were yapping, cats were meowing, and goats were bleating. The Titans couldn't figure out how all these animals got on their island, but that didn't matter, because it was summer! And as is tradition with every summer fan fic, the Titans' air conditioning blew up into a million pieces. Cyborg tried to fix it, but his tech was too primitive to deal with the awesome might of the suethor. So instead, he blew up.<p>

"Yo man! Why am I blowin' up?!" He shouted as he blew up. Cyborg chunks rained down, cooling down the other Titans momentary. But it still wasn't enough and the oppressive heat continued to oppress the poor Titans.

It was HOT. Like 175 or something. All of the animals stranded on Titan Island were dying. Beast Boy tried to care, but they were pretty annoying, so he let it slide.

The Titans decided that they were too hot and needed to find a way to cool down. Beast Boy suggested a group bath with the ladies. Robin eagerly agreed and pulled the shrieking changeling to the bathroom, leaving the female Titans alone in the common room. Several disturbingly long hours later, a traumatized Beast Boy came back into the room. Robin followed behind him.

"Well, that didn't cool me down at all!" Robin said, his body covered in sweat. "Now I'm hotter than before!" Beast Boy was curled in a ball in the corner, rocking back and forth and weeping.

"Friends, why do we not just go swimming in the ocean?" Starfire asked.

And so it was settled. The Titans were going swimming. They all piled into the T-car and drove the 50 feet to the shore right in front of the tower.

"Yo! No one touches my baby!" Cyborg shouted, resurrecting from his previous accident. He proceeded to beat Beast Boy to a pulp for driving his car. Even though Robin drove. The other Titans ignored the two and set up their beach supplies.

"Boys." Raven said, rolling her eyes as she received her first line of the story. Behind her, Beast Boy was bleeding heavily and screaming bloody murder while Cyborg continued to pummel the young teen.

SUDDENLY, a form appeared out of the water. "Don't you touch him!" The mysterious form shrieked. It shoved Cyborg into the water, where he instantly rusted. The other Titans pushed him out to sea. Aqualad kidnapped him to add to his collection of oddities.

"Who are you?" Raven asked in an awed monotone.

"My name," the form said dramatically, "is Felynx!" Upon the mere mention of her name, Beast Boy was instantly healed.

"Wow, thanks!" Beast Boy exclaimed, examining his newly healed body. "I feel much better!" Felynx sauntered in close, giving him her best bedroom eyes. She looked stoned.

"I know how you can repay me," Felynx purred in a low voice, giving Beast Boy a clawing motion with her hand. "Raaawr!"

"Uhhh, n-no thanks," Beast Boy stammered out, backing away. "Raven could have just healed me anyway." Suddenly, Felynx's eyes were filled with rage.

"It's always about Raven," She said the name with contempt. "You never have time for me anymore!"

"What?" Beast Boy asked confused. "I've never even met you before!" Felynx gasped.

"How could you say something like that?!" She sobbed. "After all we've been through!" She held up dozens of pictures of Beast Boy. He snatched them out of her hands and his eyes went wide.

"DUDE!" He shouted, flipping through them.

Beast Boy in his swimsuit *Flip*

Beast Boy _changing _into his swimsuit *Flip*

Beast Boy in the shower *Flip*

Felynx posing next to a sleeping Beast Boy *Flip*

Beast Boy unconscious, slouching next to Felynx on a Ferris wheel.

"WHO ARE YOU?" Beast Boy shouted, backing away from the sobbing girl. She looked up at him with a tear stained face.

"I know, Beast Boy. We've become so distant, it's like we don't even know each other anymore." She shook her head sadly. "It's my fault, I haven't been making enough effort to spend time with you.

"Uh, no. You've made plenty of effort. Way too much effort, in fact." Beast Boy said, looking around in terror.

"Oh, you're just trying to cheer me up," Felynx said, sniffling. "That's so sweet of you Beasty Boo. But I'll just have to try harder. From now on, I wont leave your side, not even for a second!" She jumped up and clung to the struggling boy. Beast Boy tried to push her off himself, to no avail. She wrapped herself around him tighter, restricting his movement.

"S-stop!" He shouted. "Help! One of you help me!" Raven looked over at him with obvious sympathy in her eyes.

"Sorry, I still have to set up the umbrellas," she said flatly. "My skin always gets so burned in the sun." She poked her already reddening skin and took in a short intake of breath through her teeth. "Damn, I'm already burnt."

Beast Boy desperately tried to change forms to escape, but Felynx's grip was too tight around him. He started to panic and his breaths came in short bursts as he began hyperventilating. Starfire flew over and pried the incredibly strong girl off of Beast Boy. Felynx began foaming at the mouth as she grasped at the air, trying to get Beast Boy back. He ran away and cowered behind the nearest rock.

"You should not harm friend Beast Boy," Starfire said, anger present in her voice. "Or I will harm you."

Felynx stopped her struggling and turned her head a full 180 degrees to look Starfire in the eye. Starfire winced as she heard the bones in her captors neck scrape and pop against each other.

"You." Felynx said in a deadly whisper. "You're trying to steal Beast Boy from me. I knew I couldn't trust a whore like you." Starfire's eyes glowed with fury and she dropped Felynx onto the hard, rocky shore.

"YOU DO NOT CALL ME A WHORE!" Starfire screamed as she let loose a powerful starbolt aimed right at Felynx. The force of the impact shook the entire island and pieces of rock were sent miles into the air. Still Starfire did not stop, unleashing a powerful torrent of energy at the girl. After a full five minutes, she dropped to the ground, breathing heavily.

"Whew, thanks Star, she was really freaking me out," Beast Boy said, appearing from behind his rock. Starfire gave him a nod before collapsing on the ground in exhaustion. Slowly, the smoke and derbies cleared, revealing a 20 foot deep hole in the bedrock. In the center of the hole laid a crippled and bloodied Felynx. She coughed a few times before crawling out, her broken legs dangling behind her.

"If you ever try to steal my boyfriend again, I wont go so easy on you." Felynx coughed again, spitting out several bloody teeth.

"Dude! What?!" Beast Boy shouted, ignoring the collapsed Starfire. "I am so not your boyfriend!"

Felynx stood up, seemingly oblivious to the fact that her legs currently had shattered bone sticking out of them. She turned to Beast Boy with sadness in her eyes. "A-are you breaking up with me?" She wiped away the blood flowing from her eyes like it was tears. "I knew it! I knew you still weren't over _HER_!"

"Who, Starfire?" Beast Boy asked, confused.

"Don't play dumb!" Felynx cried. "Terra! It's always been Terra!"

"Who told you about Terra?" Beast Boy started to grow angry. "No one outside the Titans knew about us!" Felynx ignored the question.

"She was always the only thing between us. That home-wrecking bitch just couldn't accept our love!" She sobbed into her hands. "You told me you were over her and I forgave you!" She continued quietly. "I just don't know if I can trust you anymore Beast Boy..."

"Good! Fine! Leave!" Beast Boy shouted, throwing his hands into the air. "I don't even know who you are, you psychopath." Felynx looked him deep in the eyes, her sobbing stopping for the moment. Finally she spoke.

"Perhaps you're right Beast Boy..." Beast Boy's face brightened upon hearing that. "We can work this out! True love like ours doesn't come around often." Beast Boy's expression darkened once again. "Like you said, 'It would be a shame to ruin such a beautiful thing.'" Felynx finished, smiling brightly up at him.

"AAAHHHUGG!" Beast Boy screamed to the heavens. "You're insane!"

"I love you too Beast Boy!" Felynx replied excitedly. "I know it's a big step to say that in a relationship and I'm so glad that you had the courage! I have loved you for such a long time, but I didn't want to make things awkward." She explained.

"What?!" Beast Boy shouted. "Dude, I did NOT say that! Somebody, help me out over here!" Beast Boy looked over to his teammates, begging for help with his eyes. Robin nodded and walked up to the girl.

"Listen, I don't know who you are or why you're here, but I think it's best of you leave," Robin said, putting on his best leader face. Felynx turned to him with murder in her eyes.

"Oh, I see how it is!" She shrieked, standing up to her full height. "You just want to have Beast Boy all to yourself! To hold him and stroke his hair. To kiss him and sing him to sleep at night!" A look of confusion crossed Robin's face.

"Wha-? I don't-"

"WELL I GOT NEWS FOR YOU BUDDY!" Felynx screamed, raising her fist. "I DON'T SUPPORT YAOI!" With that, she brought her fist down and struck Robin with all her might. He easily blocked the clumsy shot, but unfortunately her strength was too much and his arms collapsed under the weight of the assault. With a resounding crack, her fist made contact with his head and Robin fell to the ground, dead. There was a stunned silence, the only sound that could be heard was Felynx's heavy breathing.

"What have you done?!" Beast Boy broke the silence, tears starting to form in his eyes.

"I'll miss that gel-head," Raven said, displaying the appropriate amount of sadness for the tragic death of her leader.

"It's OK Beast Boy," Felynx said soothingly. "He can't stand in the way of our love any more." Upon hearing all of the commotion, Starfire groggily propped herself up.

"Friends, what is with all of the ye-" She froze when she saw Robin crumpled on the floor. She looked over and saw Felynx standing triumphantly on his body. Instantly, she became filled with a blinding rage. Letting out a warriors cry, she shot at Felynx, a sonic boom rippling behind her.

Screaming, Starfire slammed into Felynx full force, shattering most of her remaining bones. Felynx let out a grunt as she smashed into the tree behind her. Blood poured down her head and several fractures ran visibly across her skull. Starfire continued to scream with fury as she beat the helpless girl into the ground. She kept pouncing and pounding for what seemed like hours as tears streamed down her face. Eventually, Felynx lay still, her body covered in blood and broken bones sticking through her skin.

Starfire dropped to the ground and began weeping. She walked over to Robins lifeless corpse and held it to herself as she cried. Beast Boy came up behind her hugged her, trying to comfort the alien. From behind them, a faint gurgling noise could be heard. Both Titans were too preoccupied to notice it.

"Star...It's OK. We'll get through this." Beast Boy said, still holding the alien tight. He gently loosened her grip on Robin's body. She collapsed in Beast Boy's arms and cried into his chest, her arms wrapping around the changeling. She continued to sob as he comforted her. The gurgling grew louder and louder until finally a piercing shriek broke through the air.

"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF MY BEAST BOY!" The mutilated Felynx charged at Starfire, the speed of her movement too quick to follow. With a quick motion of her hands, she grabbed Starfire's head and twisted hard. A loud snap echoed across the bay, followed by a thud as Starfire's lifeless body hit the ground. Beast Boy let out a cry and scrambled over to Starfire's body.

Raven put down the book she had been reading and stood up. "Alright, now you've done it." She said, her voice filled with monotonous anger. "I liked her!"

Felynx looked over at Raven casually. "Well, I actually support BBxRae, so I don't want to hurt you. You guys are my OTP!" Felynx exclaimed. "So, how about we forget all this and have a threesome!" She squealed with delight.

"Not on your life," Raven said coldly. "Which, as it happens, isn't going to last much longer." She raised her hands and her eyes began to glow white.

"Aw man, Rae! I really wanted us to be friends!" Felynx said sadly, raising her bloodied and broken hands into a sloppy fighters stance. "I would have shared Beast Boy with you."

In response, Raven surrounded Felynx in dark energy and raised her high into the air. With devastating force, Raven slammed her into the rocky shore, creating a small crater and fissuring the rocks below. Raven walked slowly toward Felynx, her dark magic pushing the beaten girl deeper into the rock with every step. Felynx cried out in pain as her body was pressed into the unforgiving rock. What few unbroken ribs she had left fractured under the pressure. Sharp bone fragments pierced her skin as Raven closed the distance. Raven stopped within inches of Felynx. She looked down with contempt.

"You don't get to 'share' Beast Boy with anyone. He's not your lover and he's not your toy. You're just a sad, obsessed little girl, and I think I'm done with you." Raven encased a nearby boulder in black energy, and raised it into the air above Felynx's head.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Felynx yelled out, contorting her neck to look in the direction of Beast Boy, who was still holding Starfire's body. "Beast Boy loves me! What we have is special! You're just trying to get rid of me so you can have him all to yourself!" She screamed out in frustration as she tried to struggle against the magic that held her.

Raven let out a short, hollow laugh. The emptiness of the tone ringing eerily across the island. "Beast Boy doesn't even know who you are. You came here and wrecked his life. You killed his family and took away what little he had left in this world. He doesn't love you; he doesn't even like you. After what you did, he hates you." She lifted the boulder higher then let it drop, giving one final statement before Felynx's death. "He could never love someone like _you_."

Felynx let out a shrill, piercing shriek at Raven's comment and ripped her limbs free from the magic that held her. She lunged at Raven just as the boulder collided with the spot her head had been moments before. Raven stumbled back, caught off guard and Felynx tackled her to the ground. With a loud cry, she pulled out one of the bone shards sticking out of her chest and plunged it deep into Raven's heart.

Raven let out a short gasp as her body went limp. Summoning the last bit of energy she could muster, she looked over to Beast Boy and rasped out "It's not your fault." With that, her eyes closed and her head fell back as death took her.

"RAVEN!" Beast boy shouted out as he dropped to his knees. His whole world had been shattered and all his friends had been killed. There was nothing left for him to live for. Feeling the weight of depression, he collapsed. He curled into a ball and cried. The pain inside of him only grew as his sobs got louder. He started to hiccup with the effort of his sobbing. A comforting hand rested itself on his shoulder.

"It's OK Beast Boy" Felynx said. Beast Boy scrambled away in revulsion, but Felynx grabbed him and held him tight, her blood soaking into his clothes. "They're all gone. They wont bother us anymore." He tried to speak, tried to scream out in frustration and anger, but the only thing that would come out was his choked sobs. As she ran her hands through his hair and hummed softly to him, he felt the urge to vomit.

"I'm here for you Beast Boy" Felynx whispered softly in his ear. "I'll always be here for you. Because it's just you and me now...Forever and ever. "

* * *

><p>Yeah, I know. The story kinda degraded (or upgraded) from an outright parody to something more serious along the way. It just goes to show, you don't need superpowers to kick ass. Fangirls can persevere through insanity and dedication alone.<p>

If you liked this one, check out my series of ridiculousness entitled "100 ways to a readers heart"

Anyway, give me birthday reviews!


	15. Beast Boy's True Love

Beast Boy was at a loss for words, which was rather unusual for him. He had had crushes before, but this was like nothing he had ever felt. It consumed him, filled his very soul. Try as he might, he couldn't get this person out of his mind. He just wanted to tell them how he felt, how his every move in life had brought him here in this moment. He knew right away that this was love.

Beast Boy openly stared; he couldn't help it. Their face was the picture of perfection. smooth and soft. The smile that was being flashed his way was almost enough to bring him to his knees. Beast Boy just wanted to hold that face; to caress it and kiss it gently. He wanted to shout his feelings to the sky and let the whole world know. But this would be taboo. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that his friends wouldn't accept this love. They could never understand just how he felt in this moment. That was the bitter truth, he would be shunned for his love. But, he didn't care. True love conquers all they say, and right now, he felt as if he could conquer the world.

The young changeling's gaze drifted down to stare at the fantastic body that was taking his breath away. He wasn't ashamed to stare. He knew his love wouldn't mind and his friends would learn to accept it. His eyes traced the slight curves and definition that could be seen through the costume fabric that all superheroes wore. Just imagining what was hiding behind that thin veil of fabric drove him insane. He had to see it. He needed to touch the soft skin; to explore every inch.

His lover gave him a small nod and Beast Boy felt a rush of excitement course through his body. His heart rate increased with every step closer. Slowly, so painfully slowly, he unzipped the fabric of the costume. He could hear his heart beating with a deafening loudness as the cloth started to fall away. It was a wonder the other Titans couldn't hear it, as he was sure that it was the cause of the ground shaking slightly under him.

Beast Boy unzipped his uniform in turn and took off the top. He reached out and grabbed his lover around the waist. His breath was coming in short pants now. Their bodies touched and a shiver of pleasure ran down his spine. This was perfect; everything was just as it should be.

He let out a low growl as he felt himself being pressed into the wall behind him. He stared into those perfect eyes for what seemed like an eternity before he leaned in ever so slightly. His fang pressed hard against his lip, betraying his controlled exterior. To his immense joy, his advance was reciprocated and his eyes fluttered shut. He could feel their warm breath as the distance between the two closed. Their lips were just mere centimeters from each other. So close.

At that moment, the door to Beast Boy's room hissed open.

"Yo, BB! Wanna play a game of Stankball? I got Raven to agree to referee and th-" Cyborg stopped dead in his tracks when his eyes came to rest on the youngest Titan, who was frozen, his expression resembling a dear in the headlights. A deep blush spread across Cyborg face. "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize I was interrupting….so…yeah…I'll just be on my way then" He stammered out. He turned and walked straight into Raven, who appeared behind him.

"What's taking so long? I don't have all d-" She froze. A light blush started on her face. "Oh..." She stared in shocked silence. Nobody moved a muscle for a full minute. Beast Boy was still pinned to the wall, eyes as wide as dinner plates. The silence was shattered as another voice came from just around the corner.

"Hey guys, are we going to get this game going?" Robin walked up to the frozen Titans, Starfire trailing behind him.

"Yes, I too wish to participate in the tossing the ball of stank" Starfire chimed in. They peeked into Beast Boy's room.

"We've got to finish in time for tra-" Robin and Starfire stopped cold, immobilized by the sight before them. "uhhh…" was all Robin was able to get out. The Titans stared in disbelief, unable to comprehend what they were seeing. Starfire looked around, confusion written on her face. She spoke up timidly.

"Please, someone explain to me," Starfire inquired, her mind trying to work through the problem. "Why is Beast Boy partially disrobed and in such a suggestive position with himself?" Her words seemed to unsettle the other Titans, as if they had not believed what they were seeing and her comment had just confirmed it. Raven was the first to recover.

"That's a very good question Starfire," She shot a glare in Beast Boy's direction. The other Titans looked to her. "Why are you in that position with yourself, Beast Boy?" They all shifted their eyes back over to Beast Boy, who was still pinned to wall. The second Beast Boy turned his head around to face the other Titans, his eyes were wide and his body was pressed into the first Beast Boy. Their shirts were crumpled in a pile on the floor and by the obvious 'excitement' that was showing through the lower half of their uniforms, the other Titans could infer where this would have gone had they not interrupted.

The second Beast Boy released the first and they both blushed deeply. They quickly made an effort to cover themselves with some of the dirty clothes Beast Boy had on his floor. They both refused to make eye contact, staring at the floor and sheepishly kicking some stray mess.

"Well?" Raven asked looking more irritated with each passing moment.

The Beast Boys both lifted their head and started babbling incoherently over the top of each other. "Well it all I was just games when suddenly and then he but I couldn't stop so book that I room and inside the box yesterday was all mixed and saw colors swirled poof copy saw liked-"

"STOP." Raven said angrily. She pointed to one of the Beast Boys and gritted through her teeth, "You, talk. Why are there two of you?"

Beast Boy looked over at the other one who just looked back and gave a small shrug. The Beast Boy's ears drooped as he turned fearfully to face Raven. "Remember a couple hours ago when I asked you to play a game with me?" He asked, twiddling his fingers and shifting his gaze. The other Titans leaned in closer. She nodded curtly and he continued. "Well, I was so bored and you said you wouldn't play a game with me and you told me I should find a book to read" He paused and studied a spot on the carpet.

After a moment, he took a calming breath and started back up. "so…I went into your room," She flashed him a brief glare, but said nothing, "coz' your books always seemed to interest you, and that's pretty hard to do. So, I guessed they might be pretty exciting." Understanding began to spark on all of the Titans faces. They could assume where this was going.

"So I picked a book from your shelf and opened it. I couldn't understand any of the symbols, but they went all crazy and formed into some words I could read. I sounded them out and then I was like on fire or something cause' everything went all red and it hurt so bad. I passed out and then, when I woke up…" He trailed off and looked over at his other counterpart. "When I woke up, he was here." He finished. They both looked sheepishly at Raven and gave her nervous smiles, their fangs protruding from their lips. Raven looked calm for a few moments before rage began to cross her features. She was about to speak when she was interrupted by Starfire.

"But…That does not explain why you were being the 'intimate' with him," she said, pointing to the other Beast Boy. Both of the Beast Boy's faces grew a deep shade of reddish-brown as blood rushed to their faces, distorting their natural green complexion. The other Titans all gave the Beast Boy's a quizzical glance. They both stood awkwardly for a few moments before looking at each other. The Beast Boy that had been silent through the story nodded to the other. He was gonna take this one.

"Well…." He began uncertainly. "It's just…you know…" He looked up at the other Titans, hoping for some mercy or even a 'get out of jail free' card.

"No, we don't know. Just spit it out, man," Cyborg said, curiosity overriding any sympathy he had for the young teen. Beast Boy sighed and looked away again.

"Well, when I woke up and saw him, it was crazy. Like looking into a mirror, cept I could touch it. So, we shifted into some animals to test each other and they were all, like, exactly the same. It was awesome!" He said with a little excitement. "Then we started talking and stuff and we were like the same person!"

"Well technically, you are the same person," Robin cut in. A look of momentary confusion crossed his face. "They are the same person, right Raven?" He asked, turning to her. She gave a slight nod.

"If he did what I think he did, then they should both be exactly the same. Identical bodies, identical emotions, identical memories," She replied. Beast Boy breathed a sigh of relief, happy for the change in subject. "Let's let them finish the explanation," Raven said, "_all_ of it," She added sternly. The Beast Boy's gave her a short glare, which she countered with one of her own. They shrunk down and one coughed, bringing the attention back to himself.

"Well…we were so similar, and I've never had anyone who _really _understands me like he did. We were just talking about stuff, but then we started to talk about other stuff." He looked away uncomfortably. "Like private stuff…it wasn't embarrassing or anything, it just felt natural...And….well…we both thought we were good looking and we kinda figured that since we were the same person, there wasn't anything wrong with trying some stuff out…" The other Titans all carried a mix of shock and slight repulsion at the changeling. He looked around again, as if searching for an exit. Finding none, he let out a sigh and finished weakly, "plus…he's got devilishly good looks..." He offered a slight smile, which quickly melted into embarrassment as his team stared at the two of them with disbelief. There was a long, drawn out silence, which was eventually broken by Raven.

"Ew." She stated simply. There was a resounding chorus of agreement from the other Titans. The Beast Boys just stared at the ground, the blush still stubbornly refusing to leave their faces.

"So, Raven," Robin spoke up, deciding to focus on the practicality of the matter. "Are we going to have two Beast Boys running around the tower from now on?" At those words, a look of fear crossed the other Titans faces. One Beast Boy was hard enough to deal with; two would drive them all insane within a matter of weeks. Raven shook her head and the other Titans let out a sigh of relief.

"The spell should only last a few more hours. After that, the two Beast Boys will merge back into one. For now, they shouldn't train or go on a mission; their abilities are only half as good as they normally are and it could be dangerous." She looked to their leader, and he nodded his understanding.

"Will do Raven, we'll keep that in mind." Robin confirmed.

"Good. Now, I'm going to put magical protections on my books, because apparently, some people don't have the common sense to stay away from magic they know is dangerous." The Beast Boys gave a nervous smile and Raven turned to leave. "Oh, and Beast Boy?" she said, looking over her shoulder.

"Yeah?" They both replied in unison. In the blink of an eye, Raven covered the distance between them and was towering several feet above them with four red, glowing eyes prominently showing. They cowered in fear under her wrath, holding each other for safety.

"If you EVER go into my room again, I will make pain your whole existence," She growled in a guttural tone. "Understand?" They both nodded vigorously, staring up at her in fear. In another instant, she had shrunk down again. "Good." She walked out of the room and headed to her own, addressing Robin on the way out. "It'll take me a couple hours to put up the barriers." She said. "Just try to keep them apart; God knows we'll all be scarred for life if they get their grubby little paws all over each other again."

"Can do, Raven," Robin said with a smirk. Behind him, Cyborg was struggling to contain his laughter. The Beast Boys looked to the ground, ashamed. Starfire approached them and offered her sympathy.

"Worry not, Beast Boys. You will still be able to 'explore yourself' when you are once again whole. I am confident that you will be able to make due without the aid of another for many years to come." She put comforting hands on their shoulders and gave them a reassuring smile. That was too much for Cyborg. He burst into fits of laughter as both of the Beast Boys let out an embarrassed groan and buried their faces in their hands, just wanting to disappear forever. Starfire looked down at them with concern and turned to Robin.

"I said something wrong?" She asked him, looking a little upset. Robin was trying his best not to bust up laughing and he took a few breaths to calm himself.

"No Star, I think that's pretty much an accurate statement," Robin said, looking at the changelings with a grin.

"Just kill us now…" The both muttered, the redness on their faces apparent even through their fingers.

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><p>Well, this little chapter is dedicated to the awesome drawing FelynxTiger drew for me for my birthday! Two Beast Boys bitches! Check it out at .com! I'm such a rule breaker.<p>

It was inspired by the Teen Titans Go! episode where BB and Cy trick Raven into making copies of them. Also by a question I have been asked before. "Would you sleep with your clone/twin?"

If I had a clone, you better believe that I would try my very best to tap that. Mmmmm, sexy. ; )

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Yeah, that's the reaction most people have when I say that...

Review!


	16. Uncanon affections pt 1

The world needs more BBxStar. There is only 111 BBxStar stories on this whole site! What the heck, man? I like the idea of them together, they're just so similar. It's my 2nd favorite pairing, behind BBxRae of course.

This will be a two-shot, 'cause I have a friend staying over and not enough time to write the whole thing. I guess this little two-shot would be set before the episode "Stranded." Though, being the all-mighty suethore I am, I can set it whenever I want to, continuity be damned!

I feel so powerful.

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><p>"Uuuuughhhhh!" Beast Boy let out a loud, dramatic groan. The Gamestation controller he had been holding slipped from his grasp and landed with a dull thud on the floor. "I'm sooo bored!" He shouted to no one in particular. There was never anything to do in this city. Sure, he just fought a giant inter-dimensional demon just a few short hours ago, but that didn't really count.<p>

He let out another groan when no one responded to him, this time louder and more drawn out. "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhh!"

Still not hearing a response, he turned lazily to look around the common room. "Great. they all ditched me." He muttered. Turning briefly into a cat, he stretched out before resuming his human form and going in search of his fellow Titans. Maybe he could convince Robin to take the other Titans to the fair to celebrate their victory over the monster. That could be pretty fun.

He walked into the evidence room to find Robin placing a piece of the demon on one of the room's many pedestals. He appeared to be deep in thought.

"Hey, Robin!" Beast Boy said, a little too loudly. Their leader jumped slightly at the sudden intrusion and turned to face his teammate.

"What is it, Beast Boy?" He asked curtly.

"Well, we just kicked some bad guy butt! I though maybe we should go out and celebrate!" Beast Boy began enthusiasticly. Robin stared blankly at the changeling for a few moments before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"First of all Beast Boy, we didn't kick any 'bad guy butt.' In fact, we got _our_ butts kicked." Robin replied, irritated. "So there is no reason to celebrate anything."

"But-" Beast Boy started.

"Second," Robin cut him off. "We still have no idea where this thing came from or what it even is. So, no. We're not going out to party until we find this thing."

Beast Boy deflated. "So you're just gonna keep me locked up in the tower while you mope about in a dark room?" He questioned. "Dude, that sucks!"

"Like I told you a couple hours ago," Robin said. "Your powers aren't much help tracking an inter-dimensional demon. So for right now, you can go wherever you want. Just leave your communicator on and be ready for any trouble." With that, Robin turned back to the demon piece and began studying it once more.

Beast Boy let out another groan. "Dude, celebrating's no fun by myself!" Robin didn't reply and continued to study the evidence. Beast Boy stomped his foot and turned out of the room. "What a stick in the mud," He muttered under his breath.

"What was that, Beast Boy?" Robin didn't even turn around, but Beast Boy could tell by his voice that he was treading on thin ice with the grouchy leader.

"Hehe...Nothing!" Beast Boy gave a sheepish grin before darting out of the room. Robin just shook his head and went back to the object in front of him.

…

Beast Boy made his way to the basement, where he knew Cyborg would be working on the T-car. '_Cyborg wouldn't let me down!_' He thought happily to himself as he bounded down the stairs. He reached the bottom and saw Cyborg's feet sticking out from under the T-car. "Hey Cy!" he called out. Cyborg appeared not to hear him and continued to pound on the metal frame of the car. Snickering, Beast Boy snuck his way over to Cyborg's feet. He waited patiently, and at the first momentary break in the pounding, he sucked in a deep breath.

"CYBORG!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. There was a loud clang as a startled Cyborg smacked his head against the bottom of the car. Beast Boy fell over laughing, holding his sides. Cyborg rolled out from under the car with an angry look on his face.

"Oh, you think this is funny, little man?" Cyborg said, standing up and towering over the changeling. Beast Boy let out a short 'eep' and backpedaled into a corner. He took a threatening step closer Beast Boy. "I'll show you funny," He said in a deadly whisper. Suddenly, he lunged at the cowering Beast Boy, who let out a high-pitched shriek. Grabbing the struggling boy tightly in one arm he leaned in close to his ear and shouted "POWER NOOGIE!"

Beast Boy began screaming and flailing around, trying to escape the metal Titan's grasp to no avail. Cyborg brought his fist up and it started to rotate around, gaining speed with every turn. Slowly and dramatically he lowered his spinning fist onto the green boy's head. Cyborg held his hand there for a good thirty seconds while Beast Boy squealed and tried to break free. Finally, Cyborg dropped him to the ground and Beast Boy cradled his now aching head.

"Ooooow! You didn't have to do it so hard!" Beast Boy whimpered from the floor. Cyborg gave him a smirk.

"I hope what you came down here for was worth the pain," He replied.

"Well, I _wanted_ to ask if you would go to the fair with me," Beast Boy grumbled, still holding his head. "But now I'm not so sure." () Cyborg looked down at his friend with a little sympathy.

"Sorry BB, I gotta stay close and monitor the scanners, in case they pick up any temporal disturbances from the demon. We don't want that thing popping up without warning." Beast Boy let out a sigh and stood up.

"Fat load of fun you are," He huffed. Cyborg rolled his eyes at the changeling. "Guess I'll just have to find some other best friend to have an awesome time with." Beast Boy said, as if trying to guilt the Titan into going. Cyborg shrugged his shoulders.

"Sorry, man. Maybe next time." Beast Boy let out another indignant huff and stormed away in mock anger. He glanced over his shoulder to see if it was having any effect. It wasn't. Cyborg had put on his best sad face as he waved solemnly to his departing friend. Beast Boy let out another sigh and climbed up the rest of the stairs. _'Maybe Raven will want to hang out.' _He thought to himself. He let out a snort when he realized what he had just considered._ 'Yeah right!' _He rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. There was no way she would want to go to the fair. However, despite that, he continued to make his way up to the roof, where he knew she would be.

…

Beast Boy opened the door to the roof and peeked out, his eyes scanning for Raven. He quickly found her floating near the edge of the roof, the colors of the setting sun washing over her placid face. Not that she noticed; her eyes were closed and he could hear the faint sound of her chanting the mantra they had all come to know by heart.

He walked quietly over to Raven and stood there for a moment, trying to work up the courage to disturb her meditation. He stood staring at her in silence until a voice startled him. "You know I can sense you there." She said opening one eye.

"Oh yeah. I kinda forgot," Beast Boy said scuffing the floor with his foot. He stood silently for a few more moments. Raven let out an exasperated sigh and dropped from her meditative position.

"What do you want?" She asked with irritation.

"Weeeelll," He drew out. "I was wondering if you wanted to come to the fair with me? You know, to celebrate our battle and all." There was silence and Raven stared at him like he was stupid. Beast Boy grew uncomfortable and shifted his gaze. Finally Raven spoke up.

"Celebrate? You do know we lost, right?"

"Yeah, but we're all alive aren't we?" He tried to defend himself. "That's something!" There was another uncomfortable silence.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm trying to locate the demon through his energy signature. And I can't afford to waste any time going to a fair." She resumed her lotus position and turned away from him.

"Aw, come on Raven!" He pleaded. " You've gotta have fun sometime!"

"No." Came her short reply.

"But-"

"NO!" She said with more force. He could hear the anger starting to creep into her voice.

"Fine," Beast Boy said dejectedly. He dragged his feet as he walked back to the door.

Beast Boy entered the common room once more and sighed to himself. Maybe beating his game for the 11th time that day wouldn't be so bad. His ears perked up when he heard noise coming from the T.V.. He lifted his head up to look and saw Starfire sitting on the couch. By the looks of it, she was watching some documentary or another. Beast Boy didn't really look long enough to figure out what it was about; her normal choice in documentaries was usually enough to make him turn green. Well, greener. Upon hearing Beast Boy shuffling in behind her, Starfire paused the program and turned to face him.

"Hello Beast Boy!" She said in her usual, cheery tone. She flew over to him and noticed his downtrodden look. "Please, is something the matter?" Starfire asked, her eyes filling with concern. Beast Boy looked up with her and gave her a smile.

"Nah, just bored is all." He said, trying to ease her worry. Starfire tended to overreact if she thought that one of her friends was unhappy. "I wanted to go out and have some fun at the fair, but everyone's busy tracking this demon thing, so I figured I would just play my game some more."

"You are not helping the others in their efforts?" Starfire inquired.

"Robin said that I couldn't track it through dimensions with my senses, so I wouldn't be of any help," Beast Boy replied with a touch of sadness. "What about you?"

"Sadly, I cannot help either." Starfire replied. "Though I was taught to track down enemies from an early age, my skills do not go beyond this dimension."

"Oh," Beast Boy responded, a little taken aback. Sometimes he forgot that she grew up a warrior. "Well, would you wanna go to the fair with me?" He asked hopefully. Starfire's eyes lit up and she brought him into a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh, that sounds marvelous!" She twirled them around in the air. "I have not been to the fair since we were pursued by the drones who sought out my sister!" Her gripped tightened upon the mention of Blackfire. Starfire noticed Beast Boy struggling for air and she set him down with a light blush. "I am sorry, I did not mean to hurt you." Beast Boy took a few large gasps of air before flashing her a toothy smile.

"No worries," He said, trying his best to breath normally, so as not to upset the already guilty Starfire. "I'm just glad you're coming!"

"And I am glad to be going with you!" Starfire's smile returned in full and she grabbed Beast Boy by the wrist. "We must hurry if we are to have the most fun before the fair closes!" Beast Boy gave a light laugh as she flew him through an open window and out over the bay. Flying in human form was always such a thrilling experience; so much different than what he was used to.

After a few minutes, Beast Boy changed form in Starfire's hand, startling her. She looked around to see where her teammate had gone. Suddenly, a green hummingbird flew mere inches from her face and Starfire let out a surprised yelp, followed by giggling as Beast Boy darted playfully around her head. He then shot off toward the direction of the fair, shifting forms and gaining speed. She let out another laugh and chased after him; soon passing him by. He let out a squawk and shifted again, struggling to pass her. The two sped faster and faster, both trying to gain an edge on the other. In the back of his mind, Beast Boy knew that she could have easily passed him, but he pushed that aside and let himself get caught up in the thrill of the race.

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><p>Part one done! I guess this is really setting the stage. My original plan was to have all that in like 500 words, not 2000. Oh wells.<p>

Also, I'm starting to run out of story ideas and I've got like 84 more to do. If anyone wants to toss an idea my way, I'm open!

**So, for everyone not on alert for the story, I think I might be changing the rating on this. I've been told it's a little too much to be rated T. So, I might bump it up to M. Do you trust me on this? Will you follow me into the depths of Fanfiction? I sure hope so...**

Review!


	17. Raven the Mind Reader

I'm so bad at maintaining a constant storyline. I guess that's why I prefer 100 one-shots. I'm halfway done with the next part of last chapter. Not that any of you jerks care. I'm like the only BBxStar fan in existence.

Thanks to xxClueless1xx, The Hairy Wampa, Shadow, and FelynxTiger for the reviews and chapter suggestions!

Here's a short chapter to hold you all over!

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><p>Did you know that Raven can actually read minds? Sure, she can't do that in the show or even in the comics- wait, can she in the comics? I don't know. Point is, in the show she can't and this section is about the cartoon. But here on Fanfiction, a lot of people seem to think she can. Like that one time, when Beast Boy was planning on pranking her.<p>

"_Raven's never gonna see this one coming!_" Beast Boy thought to himself. Or more like, Beast Boy thought to himself and Raven. 'Cause she was somewhere in the tower too.

"Hey, I heard that!" Raven said angrily from behind him.

"_Man, we can never get away with anything when Raven's around,"_ Beast Boy thought sadly. But he might as well have just said it out loud.

"That's right! Raven power!" Raven said, uncharacteristically striking a heroic pose.

Or like when they fight Slade.

"Foolish children, you could never defeat me, Slade." Slade said triumphantly, reminding them all who he was, just in case they had forgotten. All of the Titans lay in a bloody heap at his feet. All except Raven, of course.

"You seem to have forgotten about me," Raven said, taking a pause for dramatic effect. "Slade Wilson"

"Gasp!" Slade gasped. "How did you find out about my cleverly maintained alter ego?!" Raven tapped her head with a finger.

"I can read minds, remember?" She scoffed. "I've known all along, I just didn't want to say anything because I wanted to see when Robin would figure it out."

"Grrr, now that you know, you must be destroyed to maintain my secrecy!" He lunged at her.

"Pfft, it's useless." Raven said, sidestepping his lunge the instant before his foot left the ground. Slade smashed into the wall behind her. "Did you forget I can read your mind?"

"Maybe." Slade growled angrily, sending an upper cut her way. Raven dodged perfectly and used her power to hit the perfect opening he had left her. Within ten moves, Slade was beaten. "Foolish girl," He said, coming up with his best insult. "You may have beaten me, but you'll never be able to disarm the bombs I have planted around the city!" Raven rolled her eyes and read his mind.

"Let's see," She said, sifting through his mind. "Evil plots, world domination, Titans Tower schematics, Terra rape- Ooo, I'll save that one for later. Ah! Here it is, disarm codes! The password is Sladin123" She went over to the conveniently placed supercomputer that was in every villains lair and input the password.

"NOOOOO!" Slade cried, using an awful lot of exclamation points.

Yep, Raven really was pretty amazing. She even experienced other people dreams. She never had any of her own, but she didn't mind too much, the other Titans dreams were cool enough. All of the Titans had lemon filled dreams about her, of course. Those were her favorite. It was like she was sleeping with herself as them!

Despite all of that though, she was actually pretty bad at being an empath. She could read minds and feel peoples feelings, but she doesn't have feelings of her own, so those new sensations confused her. Like when Robin and Starfire finally kissed.

"What?! Why's he kissing Starfire?" Raven asked.

"Seriously? Those two have been crushing on each other since they met!" Cyborg said in disbelief.

"Really?" Raven said, confused. "I always thought he was gay."

"Why would you think that?"

"The tension between him and Beast Boy can be cut with a knife!" Raven exclaimed. "During 'The Beast' incident, I was waiting for the moment when they just tore each others clothes off and jumped each other."

"WHAT?!" Beast Boy shouted from the background.

"I'm an empath, I would know." Raven said in a matter-of-fact manner. "Plus, just look at those tights. Dead giveaway."

Or when Robin came back after becoming Slade's apprentice.

"It was horrible. The things he did to me." Robin shivered.

"Oh, I get it," Raven said, sending him a wink. "You must have really enjoyed your time there. Well, I'm glad you had the willpower to come back to the boring Titans."

"No!" Robin said. "It was the worst experience of my life and I wish I could just forget about it."

"Don't say that!" Raven gasped. "It may always be tempting to go back, but you should treasure those memories! Don't be ashamed of being truly happy.!"

"NO!" He insisted again. "It was awful!"

"Robin," She said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I know how you feel. I'm an empath." She gave him another wink. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I won't tell Beast Boy."

Yes, Raven does have a few flaws, but we all forgive her minor quirks because she is just so awesome.

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><p>Do you guys like my new avatar? It's freaking Beast Boy in a Pikachu costume! So adorable.<p>

If you want to see a chapter in here, suggestions are welcome.

Review please!


	18. Robin the Jerk

Thanks to akatsukibunni95, Songleaf, kyle brovfloski, FelynxTiger, and whoever Guest is for your reviews! you guys rock!

A lot of fics have Robin playing the jerk, usually to poor lil Beast Boy. 'Cause of that 'Beast' episode or whatever.

Robin the Jerk

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><p>The Titans all hated their leader. He was just the worst person imaginable. Why they all stayed with him and followed his orders is beyond me. Most days, he was fueled by coffee and douchebagery, but today, he hadn't had his coffee. The other titans would normally avoid him on days like this, but no one knew he had skipped his coffee.<p>

"H-hey Robin?" Beast Boy asked nervously. He needed to have a serious talk with their leader.

"WHAT?! Robin shouted angrily. "Can't you see I'm finding Slade?" He zoomed in on a pedestrian with Google Earth. "Damn," He muttered, zooming out and then back in on a different person. "I'll get you eventually, you elusive bastard." He whispered through clenched teeth.

Beast Boy shifted his eyes to the side and scuffed the floor with his foot. "Well, I just wanted to talk...about Raven." Letting out an annoyed sigh, Robin got up from the couch and faced the green teen.

"Fine, make it quick." He said, glaring down at his teammate.

"Well, it's just...you know...I've been feeling..." Beast Boy shyly began.

"Uuugghh," Robin let out an irritated groan. "Great, emotional crap. What is it?" Beast Boy looked down and muttered something quietly. "What?" Robin asked. Beast Boy muttered something again. Robin started to get angry.

"OH. MY. GOD." Robin rubbed his temple. "Quit wasting my time! Just spit it out; I have paperwork that I need to file!"

"I like Raven!" Beast Boy blurted out, his face growing red.

"Is that all?" Robin asked, rolling his eyes. "I could have been filing paperwork. You like Raven, so what?"

From behind him, a piercing shriek split the air. Starfire flew up to Beast Boy and crushed him in a giant hug.

"Oh this is marvelous!" Starfire cried out, twirling them both around in the air. "Now you can share the happiness that Robin and I feel when we are together!" She went over to Robin and they started to make out.

"Well," Beast Boy panted, recovering from Starfire's hug. "I was going to ask her out and I wanted some advice." He said sheepishly, giving a small, embarrassed smile.

"What?" Robin asked angrily. "Are you _trying_ to endanger this team?" He demanded.

"But I-" Beast Boy began.

"No, absolutely not!" He turned his back to Beast Boy. "We can't take the risk of you two breaking up, which is defiantly going to happen." He waved off Beast Boy.

"No I-" Beast Boy protested.

"NO!" Robin shouted. "I will NOT allow relationships to happen on this team!" Robin said while making out with Starfire. "We can't go screwing up the team dynamic!"

"But you're with Starfire!" Beast Boy objected. Robin pushed Starfire onto the floor and turned to face the changeling. His face was red with fury and his fists were clenched tightly.

"Are you questioning my leadership?" He asked in a barely restrained voice.

"Well, I just don't think that-"

"THAT'S IT!" Robin yelled, silencing Beast Boy. "I have had enough of your nonsense, you green freak. You are not dating her and that's final! Do you understand?" Beast Boy's eyes watered up, and he nodded stiffly. He turned and ran out of the room, passing Cyborg on the way out.

"Whoa," Cyborg said. "What happened? Why is Beast Boy so upset?" He asked, his voice filled with concern.

"He wanted to date Raven" Robin scoffed. "We can't have two teammates dating, it's unprofessional."

"What?!" Cyborg cried out angrily. "Man, what's your problem? Those two should at least get a chance! Plus, you're dating Starfire!" Starfire nodded as she got up off of the floor.

"I must agree with Cyborg, our friends should be allowed to find happiness in each other," Starfire chimed in. Robin clenched his fists and started to sputter angrily. His face turned an interesting shade of purple as he clenched every muscle in his body. Strange gurgling sounds came from him and the other Titans backed away slightly. Finally, he exploded at the two.

"HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME!" He roared, getting within inches of their faces. "I AM THE LEADER AND I MAKE THE DECISIONS!" He let out an outraged scream and punched the coffee table, breaking it in two. He turned, flipped the sofa, and began tearing apart the cushions, screaming all the while. Finally, he calmed down and glared at the two frightened Titans. "Punishment. Training. NOW!" He managed to force out through clenched teeth.

"But Robin-" Starfire started.

"NOW!" He shouted. "FIVE HUNDRED HOURS TRAINING!" He started to destroy the computer console, and the two scurried out of the room to begin their training session. Finally done demolishing the computer, he let out an angry sigh. "Great, now how am I supposed to find Slade? Stupid Cyborg, this is all his fault." He fumed at the incompetence of his teammates.

Just then, Raven came in. She stopped at the door entrance and surveyed the damage. Coming to a quick conclusion, Raven started to back up slowly. She let out a sigh of relief as she made it out of the room and the door hissed closed.

"That was close." She said out loud. She shook her head and walked back down the hall. "I don't know why I ever come out of my room."

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><p>There you go! I thought this went nicely with Raven the Mind Reader. Also, Check out my community, Best of Teen Titans. It is run by myself, FelynxTiger, TheForceisStrongWithThisOne, and Ajstarlet. We're adding all of the best stories we have come across, so it's bound to be pretty epic. Drop by and follow us for the best stories!<p>

Let me know what you think of this chapter!


	19. Bored

Thanks to songleaf, an0n021, ivy night, ravenstar8, felynxtigher, and akatsukibunni95 for the reviews!

I am writing this out of sheer boredom. I am so bored. So very bored. I don't know what this chapter is going to be about. All I know is that it probably wont make a lot of sense.

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><p>"Bored," Beast Boy whispered from his upside-down position on the couch. He slowly slid down until his head hit the floor. None of the other Titans around him seemed to acknowledge that they heard. They all seemed to be in a state of comatose. Beast Boy stayed in his position for another five minutes, his eyes glazing over. Starfire, Robin, and Cyborg all stared vacantly at the T.V., seemingly unaware that it was just static. Raven sat on the other end, reading a book. She hadn't turned the page in over an hour. Suddenly, Cyborg shot up from the couch, startling the other Titans.<p>

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" He shouted. "Something better happen soon or I'm gonna go postal!"He bent down and grabbed the bottom of the couch. "DO SOMETHING!" He yelled as he flipped the couch, sending all of the other Titans flying off. Raven's book went shot from her hand and landed ten feet from her. The other Titans landed with dull thuds, hardly even noticing what just happened.

"Not cool..." Robin whispered out, his eyelids drooping.

Raven looked up and saw her book. She slowly crawled towards it, her right hand outstretched to grab it. Mere inches before she reached it, her strength failed her and she let her face drop into the carpet.

"AHHH!" Cyborg let out a short cry before collapsing on the floor. He began to weep silently as the last of his resolve left him.

"Today is most dull." Starfire said from her spot on the coffee table. The other Titans let out grunts of agreement.

"This sucks," Beast Boy stated. His head was at an awkward angle from the fall, bu he couldn't find the willpower to move. The other Titans let out another grunt of agreement.

"Perhaps we could-" Starfire began.

"Nah..." Beast Boy cut her off. "I don't wanna."

"Oh." Starfire said lazily, her eyes closing. Cyborg's weeping stopped and he stood up, a determined look on his face.

"Alright y'all, that's it! Get up off your lazy butts and let's go do something!"

"Uuuhhhh..." Was his response. Raven didn't even lift her head off of the floor. Cyborg looked around at his teammates and shook his head.

"Time to get out the big guns!" He said, changing his arm into a sonic cannon. He shot out his sonic beam in a wide arc, hitting all of the Titans with a low-energy blast.

"OW! What'd you do that for?!" Beast Boy shouted, jumping up angrily and rubbing his sore face. The other Titans followed suit.

"Oh, good, you're up" Cyborg said. "since you're already up, I thought we could out" He said with mock innocence. "Come on, I'm driving." Robin shook his fist angrily at Cyborg, but gave up with a heavy sigh and trudged after they cybernetic teen. The others dragged their feet as they shuffled behind their leader.

They arrived at the fair minutes later. "Five tickets, my good man!" Cyborg said energetically to the cashier. The cashier let out and incomprehensible groan and slowly pushed the numbers on the register. With all the speed of a sloth, he handed the tickets over. Cyborg paid him no mind and dragged the Titans through the gates. Behind them, the cashier let his head fall onto the cash register. He let out another low groan before falling asleep.

With Cyborg leading the charge, they all marched into the fairgrounds. He led them straight to the biggest and scariest ride there. Around them, people were shuffling around like zombies. Occasionally, someone would fall over. They would attempt to get back up, but in they end they all just decided to stay on the ground. It was pretty comfortable anyway.

They walked right through the empty line with no trouble. When they got to the front, an employee flopped her arm in the direction of the seats they were supposed to take.

"Uh." She grunted intelligently.

"All right! I call front seat!" Cyborg raced to the front and sat down. He strapped himself in and eagerly waited for the ride to start. The other Titans filed in behind him. "Are you guys ready for this?!" He asked excitedly. He turned around to look at their reactions. Beast Boy sat directly behind him, his head tilted backwards as he snored softly. The other Titans were not doing any better. Raven had chosen to sit by herself and was curled up on both of the seats in her row. Starfire had her head rested on Robins shoulder and he was fast asleep.

"Oh come on!" Cyborg cried out. Over the loudspeaker, an employee started to read out the safety information.

"uuuugnnnnhhh mmmmhh errg uhhh nhhhh hhuuuu"

"What the hell was that supposed to mean?" Cyborg asked, looking around in confusion.

"hree...oow...ne" The employee counted down. He faceplanted on the start button and quickly fell asleep. The ride shot off like a rocket. They went through countess twists and turns, fire billowing out mere inches from their faces. Cyborg screamed with excitement. It was the most exhilarating experience he had ever had. The thrills of being a hero had nothing on this! Finally, the ride came to an end and he jumped up from his seat.

"Wasn't that the most exciting experience you have ever had?!" He shouted out to his teammates. He received no response, save for the continued light snoring of Beast Boy.

"REALLY?" He looked at them in disbelief. "You guys suck, I'm outta here."

"Mmm...ok" Mumbled Raven.

"Dude...that was your first line in the story..." Beast Boy murmured in his sleep.

"Uhhh...huh?" she questioned.

"Uh." He grunted back.

"Oh." She snuggled deeper into the chair.

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><p>Yep, I'm super bored and lazy. Review Plz.<p>

…..

I'm going back to bed.


	20. Gross

His reasons were his own. No one could quite fathom why the thief acted the way he did; there never seemed to be any motive or reason behind his actions. The Titans could never understand the logic of his next move. The infamous Red-X remained a mystery to them all.

Red-X chuckled silently to himself as he prepared to stage his next all-to-showy break in. He knew his erratic behavior had been a bit of a sore spot for the Titan leader. He had personally seen Robin pacing around the common room of the tower for hours, trying to piece together some master plot or another. Not to say Red-X was spying on the leader; Robin merely happened to be in the same room as his true target. The mere thought sent a shiver up his spine. All of these years his life had been so empty, but finally, he had realized his purpose. He shook his head and broke free of his reverie. There would be time enough for that later; Right now he had a job to do.

Grabbing a small circular disk from his belt, Red-X took a breath to steady himself. After a brief moment, he tossed the disk lightly out in front of him and looked away. There was a bright flash followed by a loud sizzling sound as the disk's contents ate through the reinforced concrete of the roof he was standing on. He had built that disk himself. A small magnesium flake and a few handfuls of thermite were all that were needed to create a fire over 5500 degrees, capable of burning through solid rock and metal. It's amazing what you can get on ebay these days.

The fire burned bright and hot, casting light for miles. Anyone looking out their window would be able to spot it easily. Especially a certain group of super powered teens that happened to have their window facing in this exact direction. Once the fire had done it's job, Red-X jumped through the hole and into the middle of a high security vault. Several alarms were tripped, but he didn't bother trying to turn them off; there was no point.

He waited patiently in the middle of the room, knowing the Titans would soon be there. After what seemed like hours, the doors to the vault exploded outward, causing more damage in 5 seconds than he had in his entire break in. Jeez, these guys really weren't ones for subtly.

"Freeze!" Robin shouted, wielding his bow staff menacingly. "If you give up now, I promise we'll go easy on you." Red-X rolled his eyes.

"I bet you say that to all the villains," Red-X replied calmly. "Well, this has been fun, but if you don't mind, I'll just be taking this microchip and be on my way." He reached out and grabbed the unguarded microchip floating in the center of the room.

"Seriously?!" Beast Boy shouted out in frustration. "Who just leaves something like that floating in the middle of a room? At least put it in a safe or somethin'!"

"Kid's got a point," Red-X said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Thanks!" Beast Boy said, smiling proudly. Robin shot him a dirty glare and Raven smacked him upside the head. "Ow!" He whined, rubbing the back of his head and sticking his tongue out at Raven. "You just can't handle that I'm right for once!"

"Impressive team you got there Robin. Who needs skill when you can wow your enemy with professionalism"

Robin growled under his breath. Of course this would be the time Beast Boy and Raven start fighting.

"Titans go!" Robin shouted. The team immediately sprung into action. Starfire took the lead, unleashing a volley of starbolts that crashed down where Red-X had stood only moments before. He whistled from behind her.

"Gonna have to be faster than that if you want some of this, babe," Red-X taunted, a wink could practically be seen through his mask.

"Is the speed of sound fast enough for you?" Cyborg retorted from his side, firing several blasts at the thief. Red-X dodged each one with ease, his body contorting at near impossible angles as he evaded the fire. A rumbling started to shake the ground as Beast Boy charged at him in the form of a rhino. Without even looking behind him, Red-X jumped and vaulted off of the Changeling's horn, narrowly avoiding another blast from Cyborg. Beast Boy grunted in surprise as he was hit directly in the face with the sonic attack. He flew back and slammed into a wall, reverting into his human form. Raven quickly went her fallen comrade and began healing the injuries.

As soon as Red-X landed, a bow staff sliced through the air, nearly taking his head off. He nimbly dodged and soon began panting with effort as the two other Titans added their attacks into the mix. He was slowly pushed back as he avoided all of the blows. Beast Boy and Raven quickly rejoined the fray, causing the thief to be forced further back. Eventually, he was cornered. He put his hands up in surrender.

"Alright, you got me. I surrender." He said. The other Titans looked at him doubtfully.

"Say what?" Cyborg exclaimed in suprise.

"Yep, you guys are just too good." Red-X stated. "I give up." They exchanged confused glances, but finally Robin stepped forward.

"Uhh, alright." He said slowly. "Then I have to inform you that you have the right to remain silent," Robin took out a pair of cuffs from his belt and Red-X held out his wrists and nodded in understanding as the boy wonder started to list his rights. Robin stepped forward to cuff the criminal. "Anything you say can and may be used against you in a-" He stopped as the handcuffs phased right through the thief wrists. Furrowing his brow, he experimentally waved his hand through Red-X a few times.

"Hologram," Robin spat angrily. The other Titans gasped in suprise.

"Oh, come on. You didn't think it would be that easy to get me, did you?" The hologram faded out with the villain's laughter.

"Just what are you up to?" Robin angrily muttered.

…

Scaling the front of Titans Tower, the real Red-X felt himself smile. He had been waiting for this moment for months now. He pulled out a small laser and cut through the glass window of the Titan's common room. He had already disabled security; the only thing left was to find what he was looking for before the Titans came back from their little goose chase. Jumping through the hole, he quickly scanned the room. Within seconds, he found what he came for. He walked up to it and bent down.

"I've missed you" He whispered, "Silkie." A strangled gurgling came from the silkworm. He tickled the belly of the worm and felt his heart jump as he was treated with a pleased gurgle. "You're even more beautiful than I remember." He breathed in awe, picking up the wriggling larvae. "Come, I want to show you something." He smiled down at Silkie and carried him up the stairs to the roof of the tower. He opened the door to reveal hundreds of candles, all set up around a rose-petal-covered blanket. He carefully walked over and set Silkie down.

"Do you like it?" Red-X asked bashfully, unable to hold the larvae's stare. In response, Silkie brushed up against his leg, leaving a small trail of slime. Red-X blushed under his mask. "I thought we could sit under the stars," he said, laying down on the blanket. "I'm glad you like it." Silkie let out a strange mix between a purr and choke. Red-X turned his head to look into the silkworm's beady eyes. They were such a deep black. He felt like he could just get lost in those eyes.

His gaze drifted down the smooth soft skin that folded so gracefully over the worm's body. Each fold and crevice holding new wonders for him to explore. He stared hungrily as his mind raced with the possibilities. A low gurgle pierced the air. He gasped and looked away, ashamed. He wasn't supposed to have _those _kinds of thoughts. It was too late; he knew he had blew it. Silkie wouldn't ever be able to forgive him for that. He was just some filthy thief; unworthy even of this magnificent creatures disdain.

"I'm sorry," Red-X whispered. He stood up. "I shouldn't have...sorry..." He turned away, unwilling to let the silkworm see the tears that were beginning to well up in his eyes. _'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' _He mentally cursed. Why couldn't he just have controlled himself? He walked to the roof, ready to leave, but was stopped by a tug on his tights. He looked down and saw Silke grasping the fabric of his suit in his little mouth. "Y-you don't hate me?" The worm gurgled our a reply. Without thinking, Red-X reached up to remove the mask that protected his identity and haunted his every waking hour. He had never shown anyone his true identity before. He could only hope Silkie wouldn't reject him.

"There!" He shouted, showing his true face. "Knowing this, can you still accept me?" He already knew the answer, he was foolish to think it could ever be different.

Silkie purred a response, and Red-X froze, stunned. "R-really?" He asked timidly.

A small whimper conveyed more than words ever could.

"Oh, Silkie." Red-X whispered, unashamed of the tears that he now let fall freely down his mask. He reached down and stroked the worm, much to it's delight. Red-X felt his heart jump at the sight. He picked Silkie up and carried him to the blanket, sitting down and holding the larvae close to his chest. "This is perfect," he sighed with content. Staring deep into Silkie's eyes, he felt happiness well up from inside of him.

Unable to stop himself, he started to lean forward ever so slightly. The worm's wriggling gave him further encouragement and he drew closer. His heart pounded heavily in his chest and he was sure Silkie could hear it. With each second, he drew closer to the silkworm's lips. His heart thundered in his ears and drowned out the rest of the world. Then, they connected with a passion. Their lips slammed into each other and his mind went blank. Running his hand down the larva's spine, he pulled Silkie in closer. He gasped as Silkie's tongue began lapping at his face and into his mouth. Trails of slime dripped off Red-X as Silkie continued his fervent licking.

Red-X felt his hands trail lower, but he wasn't in control anymore. He was lost in a sea of his primal instincts, and he was loving every second. His breathing picked up pace and adrenaline started to course through him. It was finally happening, his dream was coming true. He held the wriggling worm close to him.

"I-I love you..." He whispered through Silkie's tongue. The silkworm froze, staring up at him with his perfect, beady eyes. "Before we do this, I have to know," Red-X began, "do you love me too?" Only silence greeted him. He stared intently at the worm, each passing second bringing a growing sense of dread. What if Silkie didn't feel the same way? How would he go on with his life? The silence stretched on and at long last, Silkie gave his answer.

"erug-" He was interrupted by a piercing voice splitting the air.

"Oh Silkie! Where are you my bumgorf?" Starfire called out. "Please, your k'norfka is very worried!" Her voice drew closer. Red-X glared angrily at the approaching voice and set the silkworm down.

"Another day...my love." With that, he ran and leapt off of the roof, leaving a stunned Silkie behind.

"Oh, there you are!" Starfire said cheerily, opening the door to the roof. She paused and looked around at the candles and rose petals placed around the roof.

"Silkie, what is this?" Starfire asked, bewildered. She looked over to the silkworm. "I have told you, candles cause fires!" She scolded. "You mustn't place them so near to a blanket!" Upon seeing Silkie's saddened expression, Starfire's eye softened and she relented. "Come now, we must make ready your bath." She walked over and picked him up.

Starfire held Silkie over her shoulder and headed to the door. As she slowly closed it, Silkie held his gaze on the spot where Red-X had jumped.

"eeg urrhg uh" Silkie softly gurgled as the door clicked shut.

* * *

><p>Oh. My. Gosh. I felt dirty writing that. But, as Songleaf brought to my attention, I have yet to have a SilkieRed-X fic, and I have that in my summary! Defiantly the most crackiest pairing I have ever written.

Review please! I will love you forever!


	21. Chronicles of Sleeplessness part 1

Chronicles of Sleeplessness pt1

Thanks for this chapter suggestion FelynxTiger!

I wrote this at 3 in the morning. Don't judge me.

So, the Titans were like hero's and all, but they were super dumb. Sure, Starfire was well versed in relativity and quantum mechanics and could understand technology beyond our comprehension, but she spent most of her time trying to cover random objects in mustard and eat them, so that doesn't count. Raven might know how to travel between dimensions and recite every Shakespeare story word for word, but she doesn't know the geology of the east African village of Sumar, so what good was she? The other Titans were also dumb.

Since they lacked such basic skills, the mayor of Jump Town decided they need to go to school and learn basic algebra so they could get nice desk jobs some day. After a little whining and protesting, the Titans finally agreed to go. You know, 'cause the city could fire them or cut funding if they didn't. Never you mind that the city would implode without them. I mean that literally. Cyborg installed a button that would blow up the city if he didn't press it every day. Talk about job security.

Anyway, the Titans enrolled in Marikumi high school and abandoned their secret identities. Little did they know that it was an all girls school that had a uniform requirement. So, the boys wore mini skirts and tights. Well, it's still pretty close to their normal clothes.

Oh, and Slade was the new principle. Because he's defiantly trustworthy around young teenage children.

"This sucks!" Complained Beast Boy. AKA Garfield Logan. Just in case you're not familiar, I will describe him for you. He was green and the shortest of the group. He had green eyes and green hair and even green teeth. He also had pointy ears and a fang.

After that long-winded description, the author got tired and decided it was too hard.

Also in the group was Starfire. AKA Kory. she was an alien and friends with Rachel, a demon. Then Victor and Dick. Whew, glad that's over.

So despite the fact that they were all horrible freaks, no one seemed to notice. They also split up and went into separate cliques. Because that's all high school is. Separate cliques. Beast Boy was in the nerdy one and got beat up constantly. He forgot he had powers.

Raven was a goth. She spent her lunch breaks sitting alone with her other goth friends. Alone.

Kory and Dick were like totally going out and super popular. Dick was such a bad boy, which is why Kory liked him. She was like the head of the cheer team. They were usually the ones who beat up Beast Boy. Oh, and Robin had also grown like 9 inches so he was magically taller than Starfire. 'Cause that's sexier.

Cyborg was also a popular person, but he was also friends with Beast Boy. But he didn't want to damage his reputation, so he beat up the little green guy too. That's true friendship.

They all became so engrossed in high school drama that they forgot all about their time as the Teen Team. Or whatever it was called.

Then one day, they all got detention. They had to stay after for Saturday school. So they all went to the library and sat silently while principle Slade angsted over his shitty life. He assigns them a 1000 word essay to finish or they can't leave. Then he takes off to wank it in the storage closet.

"Hey, you guys all seem familiar." Raven said, implying a predictable plot will ensue. She's crazy.

"Well duh!" Victor responds rolling his eyes. "We go to the same high school!"

"Oh" Rachel says, retreating into her emo shell.

"Lyk, omg, all your guys' stupid fault I'm in here!" Starfire/Kory cried, talking like an ordinary high school girl.

"Come on guys, if we work together we can write this essay!" Beast Boy offered helpfully.

"How about you write it and I don't beat you up?" Robin said, combing his hair like a badass. He was also wearing a leather football jacket, making him look even cooler. I mean, he still had the skirt though. Gotta draw the line somewhere.

"you all suck" Rachel responded. Then she withdrew into her shell further. Like a turtle.

"no, this sucks." Robin said with anger. "Why are we in detention? Slade should be here, not us! Have you seen him with that Terra girl?" He started to grow mader-er. "I don't understand it, but I really hate Slade! Like all I want to do is follow him around and stop his plans!"

"Wait, Yea" Beast Boy said. "I think I remember him being bad. Like, before we were here." The rest started to agree.

Fearing the characters might remember their past as Titans, the author introduced a sloppy plot device.

"Yo, chill man!" Victor said. " You need to calm down.

"Well, I got some weed, wanna blaze it?" Robin offered, rather quickly. Being typical high schoolers, they found that they couldn't refuse. So they lit up a fat one and shared all of their secrets. In they end, they bonded and decided to not conform! So they wrote their essay and turned it in like good children. And Slade rewards good children.

Then the bell rang and they ended their shift as high schoolers and put their uniforms back on. While they were gone, the whole city got taken over. With no heroes to protect them, half of the population died. But it was OK because the Titans had learned algebra.

* * *

><p>You gotta realize, I was super tired when I wrote that...<p>

**Who wants free drawings?!**

I love seeing awesome new Teen Titans art, but I already have like 8 commissions in progress right now, and I'm all outta ideas. So drop me some ideas and if i like them, i have them commissioned for you! Whatever you want;anything at all! Just make it awesome! Or fluffy and adorable. It could even be a scene from your own Fic!

Reviews would be much appropriated!


	22. Titans Tumblr Time!

OMG! I've been away for like a month! But it is _so _not my fault. You want someone to blame? Blame Ajstarlet. That donk introduced me to Tumblr. Like, seriously? That's something I wouldn't do to my worst enemy. Now I'm stuck in the addicting world of Tumblr, probably never to come out again. Damn. On the plus side, there's Teen Titans Go! animators over there! You can just ask them anything you want! It's awesome. I tried to bribe one of them to put in some extra BBxRae, but I got turned down :'(

Sorry if my writing is a lil rusty :P For this one, I'm going to assume Starfire has an idea of what the internet , on with the show!

Teen Titans Discover Tumblr.

* * *

><p>"It's quiet..." Robin muttered to himself. "Too quiet."<p>

"OH MY GOD, YESSS!" Beast Boy shrieked from the couch. He fist pumped into the air.

"And now suddenly it's too loud." Robin groaned. "I liked it better when it was quiet. "

"Jesus, Beast Boy!" Cyborg shouted, " That was right in my ear! What the hell was that for?"

"You don't have ears Cy," Beast Boy retorted, sticking his tongue out. "And I just got my 100th follower on Tumblr!" The Titans all rolled their eyes at Beast Boy. All except Starfire.

"Please, what is the Tumbler?" Starfire asked innocently, clearly having no clue what she was getting herself into.

"Well, you see, it's a website where-" Beast Boy began.

"NO!" Shouted all of the other Titans in usion.

"Beast Boy," Robin hissed threateningly. "Don't you dare."

"Not another word," Raven joined in. Starfire looked around at the other Titans in shock.

"Why can Beast Boy not tell me of this site on the web?" Starfire asked.

"It's just...not something we want you to be exposed to, Star," Robin said, praying she would drop it. She didn't.

"Is it another one of Beast Boy's 'naughty sites'?" Starfire inquired, tilting her head. Cyborg choked back a laugh and Beast Boy's face grew instantly red. Raven looked over inquisitively at Beast Boy and he averted his eyes with a nervous laugh.

"Uhhh, yeah Star," Robin said. "It's one of those."

"Hey!" Beast Boy shouted. Everyone ignored him.

"Oh, I see," Starfire nodded her understanding. "At least he did not use the main computer this time."

"What?!" Beast Boy shot up, ready to defend his honor. "That only happened like...seven times!"

"Yea, that we know of," Cyborg interjected, making the changeling blush. "You know the whole city can see what's on that screen, right? The living room window is just a transparent screen." Beast Boy's eyes went wide.

"Oh man," Beast Boy groaned, cradling his head in his hands.

"Gross," Raven said, getting off the couch with disgust.

Starfire seemed satisfied, but then, a look of confusion crossed her face. "Why does Beast Boy have 'followers' on such a site? Has he been making the 'sex tapes'?" Robin choked on his coffee.

"Err...no?" Robin said, wiping the coffee off his lap.

"I wish," Beast Boy muttered.

"Than why would you be followed?" Starfire asked. Finally, Beast Boy had had enough.

"IT'S NOT A PORN SITE, DAMN IT!" He shouted. "It's just a site where you can post pictures and share funny stuff with people and make friends online!" Silence. The other Titans tensed in anticipation.

"I can make the friends on-line?" Starfire asked, her eyes lighting up.

"Damn it, Beast Boy!" Cyborg shouted. "Now you've done it!" Beast Boy ignored him and turned to Starfire.

"Totally! It's so awesome!" He raved. "Everybody goes on there, and you can talk to people from around the world! Then they follow you, and you get filled with a rush of power as these cowering insects flock to your account and follow every word you say! Then they reblog it and more and more people come to worship the ground you walk on. SOON I'LL HAVE AN EMPIRE!" He began cackling evilly as the other Titans rolled their eyes. Starfire was posed in thought, taking all of this new information in. Finally, she spoke up.

"That sounds glorious!" Starfire said, clapping her hands. "I have always wanted a flock of cowering insects to heed my every word! I must begin Tumblering at once!" Beast Boy squealed in delight and hooked his arm through hers.

"Then come with me young padawan, you have much to learn." He led Starfire toward the door and began teaching her the mystical ways of tumblr. "Well, first thing you gotta do if you wanna be famous is follow my blog. That's a very important step to becoming a true..." His voice faded as the two walked down the hall.

"Great." Raven shook her head.

**Five Days Later**

"Beast Boy, get off your phone! NOW!" Robin shouted, a blast of concentrated light hitting him square in the chest.

"Just a sec!" Beast Boy shouted out. "Some loser just dissed my post!" He began typing furiously on the screen.

"It's all good, homie," Starfire reassured him. "You know I got your back fo eva!" She pulled out her phone and joined in on Beast Boy's flame war. "Shorty does not know who he be messin' with! Let's take this sucka down!" Beast Boy gave her a nod and they both resumed typing.

"Really?" Raven deadpanned. She surrounded the two phones in her black magic and crushed them into dust.

"Oh! I know you did not just do that! You best be jokin'!" Starfire sassed, bobbing her head and finger in rhythm.

Beast Boy dealt with it in the only way he knew how. He dropped to his knees and picked up the phone dust in his hands. As he watched the dust slip through his fingers, he felt a new emotion fill him. Pure, unadulterated rage. It welled up inside him, thrashing around his mind. The feeling built and consumed his every pore. It flooded through him and threatened to take control. He couldn't let this stand. Beast Boy knew what he had to do. Standing up to his full height, he turned to face Raven and the emotions struggled against what little restraint he had. Gathering all his strength, Beast Boy collapsed to the ground and burst into tears.

"R-Ravenn! Why'd y-you do that?!" Beast Boy cried through hiccups. He curled up on the ground and began sobbing uncontrollably.

Raven rolled her eyes and finished off Dr. Light, who, as it turns out, was just shopping for new clothes. His wardrobe was just so terrible, and he thought he might look good in some Abercrombie jeans.

Leaving Beast Boy to sob on the ground, the Titans went back home.

…

"This has to stop!" Robin said through clenched teeth. The three non-Tumblr Titans were meeting to figure out how to deal with the other two. "It's becoming a danger to the team!"

"Since when has Beast Boy _not _been a danger to the team?" Raven remarked sarcastically.

"Not helping, Raven" Robin retorted.

"Beast Boy won't even play video games with me anymore!" Cyborg pouted.

"That's what you're worried about?" Raven rolled her eyes.

"Focus!" Robin shouted. "We need to have an intervention!"

They all gasped dramatically.

…

Beast Boy and Starfire walked into the common room, both of them didn't even look up from their phones as they walked through.

"Ahem!"

They both looked up to see an 'Intervention' Banner hanging from the celing. All of their friends were lined up with very serious looks on their faces.

"Uhh, What's going on guys?" Beast Boy asked, looking around. Starfire had a look of confusion on her face.

Robin stepped up and gestured to the couch. "Take a seat you two, this is for your own good."

"Why?" Beast Boy asked.

"You're addicted Beast Boy. You too Starfire." Robin nodded comfortingly to them. "We all hoped that this would go away on it's own, but I realize now that we should have never let it get this far. It's time we had a talk."

"I'm not addicted!" Beast Boy shouted, growing defensive. "I can stop any time I want!"

"Then how about right now?" Robin asked gesturing to the phone Beast Boy was currently typing on.

"But I just got a reblog!" Beast Boy insisted. "It's important!"

"Ain't no way I'm givin' up my phone" Starfire chimed in, holding her phone close to her protectively. Robin nodded to Raven, and she surrounded the phones in dark magic, before teleporting them away.

"Hey!" They both cried out.

"You need to hear how you addiction is affecting us." Robin said.

"We're not addicted!" Beast Boy protested, tears forming in his eyes.

"Then how about we just talk." Robin offered. "Just hear us out, and you can have your phones back."

They both hesitantly stepped forward and sat on the couch. Robin pulled out a sheet of paper and began reading it to them.

"You two are my some of my greatest friends in the world. I hate to see what's becoming of you. You don't talk to us anymore, and your performance in battle has started to slip. Like really, it's getting pretty bad. You don't come to training and you're really becoming an embarrassment to this team." Robin finished with sincerity, his comforting words flowing over Beast Boy and Starfire. "I'm sorry you had to hear that, but I just needed you to know." Robin said, sounding very much like a commercial for D.A.R.E.

Robin stepped back and Cyborg took a step forward. His eyes were watering and as he pulled his paper out, he shook and choked out a few sobs.

"I miss my friend! Beast Boy, you're always just so into your Tumblr." Cyborg paused and blew his nose. "I-It's like you don't have time for me a-anymore! We don't ever hang out and we haven't played v-video games in a month! R-remember when we used to hang out? We would have so much fun! W-where did those days goooo?" Cyborg's hands were shaking so violently that he tore his paper in two. "I JUST WANT MY BUDDY BACK!" He started sobbing and he stepped back. Beast Boy looked down into his lap, unable to face his friends. Raven stepped forward and took out her sheet of paper.

"You're both acting like idiots." She began. "This whole idea is dumb, and Robin should just take away your phones." She stepped back. Robin came forward again and looked them both in the eyes.

"Do you see how your actions are hurting us?" Robin asked. "We just want to help you... Now, if you want, we would like to hear your thoughts on it." Beast Boy kept his head down in shame, but Starfire stood up.

"Fool, you be trippin'!" She retorted. "All y'alls go and criticize us, but you aint neva tasted the sweet nectar. How 'bout before you go getting' all up in our grills, you get a betta understandin of what it is your dissin'." She pulled out another phone and held it up to the three Titans. "Come back to me when your words have meanin'," She tossed the phone on the floor in front of them and grabbed Beast Boy's arm. "Comon, let's blow this joint. These ignorant fools be givin' me some mad feels. And not in the good way."

With that, Starfire pulled Beast Boy out the door and left the other Titans stunned in the common room. Cyborg picked up the phone with shaky hands and unlocked the screen.

"Cyborg, what are you doing!" Robin demanded.

"I-I cant live without my friend!" He choked out. "If this is what it takes to get him back, than so be it!" Before anyone could stop him, he quickly pressed on the Tumblr app.

"NOO!" Robin yelled as the app loaded. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

…

All five of the Titans sat on the couch, phones in hand. Suddenly, the alarm pierced through their peaceful afternoon. As the red lights and blaring siren flashed, the Titans acted quickly. Beast Boy got up off the couch and walked over to the console, staring down at his phone the whole way. He blindly slammed his hand down on the keyboard a few times, until finally he hit the button to silence the alarm.

"Should we get that?" Raven asked, not looking up from her phone.

"Nah," Robin said, waving her off. "The police will handle it. Plus, I just got another follower! No way I'm getting up now!"

"Werd." Starfire agreed.

* * *

><p>Yes, Tumblr turned Starfire into a sassy black lady. Just like it did to me.<p>

_Have a heart, _

_Do your part._

_I wrote this for you,_

_so leave a review._


	23. Catscratch Fever

I can't handle this new show, it's killing me with feels.

Haha, here's a little one-shot based on the ending of 'Matched.' How will Beast Boy's life with the scratching post play out? Let's find out...

* * *

><p>"How could I have been so blind?" Beast Boy purred lowly as he scratched the post in front of him. "This just feels right."<p>

"Why do I even try?" Raven asked herself as she stood sadly, abandond at the alter.

"Come on, let's start our new life together." Beast Boy whispered into the er.. ear of the scratching post. He carried it bridal style off into his room and shut the door.

_Five years late_r

Beast Boy paced nervously in front of a door. His friends stood supportivly behind him. "What if it doen't go well? What if something goes wrong?" Beast Boy said out loud, his own words starting to scare him.

"Everything's gonna be fine, buddy," Cyborg said comfortingly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "These are the best doctors in the city." Beast Boy gave his friend a small smile.

"Thanks, Cy."

The doors suddenly burst open, startling everyone in the room. A doctor in bloodstained scrubs came out, looking thouroughly confused. Beast Boy saw the look on the doctors face and immediatly started to panic.

"WHAT HAPPENED?! IT WAS SOMETHING BAD WASN'T IT?!" He shouted, tears already forming in the cornors of his eyes.

"Errr, no," The doctor said, "everything went fine. I think." Beast Boy stared at him expectantly. The doctor looked around uncertianly before continuing. "Your..um... wife?" Beast Boy nodded. "She gave birth to a healthy litter of...children?" Upon hearing the news, Beast Boy whooped with joy and he rushed passed the doctor and into the room.

"How are they, my love?" Beast Boy asked lovingly as he entered. That's when he caught sight of the basket which held his children. Holding his breath in anticipation, he looked inside. There were five small, sleeping forms. They were skinny, like their mother, and on each side of their rough, cylindrical heads rested a pair of green ears. They were the same color as their father and with it, came eyes that sat perfectly above their nose. Beast Boy breathed in sharply. "They're beautiful.." He whispered.

"Yes, they truely are," Starfire whispered behind him, scaring him slightly. The rest of the titans nodded behind him. All except for Raven.

"They look like monstrosities." Raven grumbled to herself. However, her comments went unheard.

"Aw, my little man is growin' up!" Cyborg tried to hold back tears. "I can't even-" He blew his nose and gave up on holding back his tears. He grabbed Beast Boy and crushed him in a very Starfireish way. "I'm so proud of you!"

16 years later

"Dad, can I borrow the car?" A scratchy voice came drifting through the tower. Beast Boy, now refered to as changeling, turned in time to see his son waddling through the door to the common room.

"What do you need the car for?" Changeling asked. "Got a hot date or something?" He wiggled his eyes at his son, who blushed.

"Yea, kinda.." At this, changeling got excited.

"Really? What's her name? Is she cute? When are you getting married?" He pestered his son witth questions.

"Jeez dad!" He said, pushing changeling away. "We just met, we're just going out to the arcade!" CHangeling looked over his son, smiling broadly. Puberty had hit him fast. He now stood at an impressive 4 feet tall, and had grown a little play mouse on his head. A small dingle ball hung from one of his arms and no matter how hard he tried to cover it, he always seemed to smell of catnip.

"Your first date! How exciting, quick honey, get the camera!" Changeling called over to his wife. She sat silently on the couch. "Your right. Your right. We wouldnt want to embarass him."

"So can I use the car or what?"

"I don't know, that's a big responsibility, do you think you're ready for it?" He asked.

"Of course! I've done well in all my courses!" His son said proudly. Changeling gave him another smile.

"Alright, you can borrow it this time. But you owe me!" He said jokingly.

"Thanks, dad!" He gave his father a hug.

"Just let me get the keys for you." Changeling said. He walked out of the room and down the hall.

"Hey, Cy!" He called out as he barged into the metal man's room. Cyborg slid out from under his car. Lines had started to form on the man's face, but he remaind otherwise unchanged.

"What?" He asked the changeling.

"Can BB Jr. Use the car?" He asked hopefully.

"Pfft, no way!" Cyborg said, "I'm not lettin him ruin my baby!"

"Come onnnn!" Changeling whined, "pleaseeee?" He got on his knees and begged Cyborg.

"What's he need it for anyway?" Cyborg asked, ignoring his friends pleas.

"He's got a date!" He responded proudly. Cyborg's eyes went wide.

"A date?!" He asked in disbelief. Changeling nodded excitedly. Tears started to well up in Cyborg's eyes. "T-they grow up so fast!" He cried out. He grabbed the keys off the wall. "Of course he can take the car!" Cyborg tossed him the keys. He walked over to his car. "Help my little buddy seal the deal." He whispered affectionalty. He turned and gave Changeling a thumbs up, which was returned with vigor.

Changeling returned to the common room and tossed the keys his son. "Go get her tiger," he said, giving his son a wink. BB Jr. Nodded and dashed out of the room excitedly. Changeling watched him go and felt pride well up inside of him. "They grow up so fast." He whispered, repeating Cyborgs earlier sentiment.

40 years later

"Don't be afraid honey, we'll see each other soon enough," Garfield whispered, tears in his eyes. His wife was lying on a hospital bed, her small frame hooked up to countless machines. Time had left it's mark on her. Her surface was almost completely smooth, worn down from countless years of Gar's pawing. The mouse toy that had once stood proudly on her head had long since fallen off, no doubt due to the same reason.

All of their children and the aged titans stood around the two, providing what comfort they could. Finally, a doctor came into the room, informing them that it was time. Gar choked back a sob, and everyone gathered around the two. The doctor injected something into her I.V. and left the family.

Gar cradled his love in his arms and began singing softly to her. Her heart rate slowed, until it was nearly still. Gar Scratched at her worn sides for what would be the last time and choked back a sob as he struggled to continue singing. Her heart gave one last and final beat, then a long continuous beep pierced the air. Gar broke down into tears and his friends imeediatly came to support him. They swept him up in an embrace. He hugged back as best he could, finding only slight comfort in their arms. He wept uncontrolably, unable to hold back.

They had been together for so long; there had been ups and downs in their lives, but through it all, Gar had always been happy. They had always loved each other, had always been there for each other. But now, after years of faithful dedication, she was finally gone. And he was all alone.


End file.
